The Experiment
by Regency
Summary: It's the end of the story for Zoey and the gang. Now all that's left is the hard part. Epilogue is up COMPLETE!
1. What Are They Thinking?

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"; there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: With graduation closing in Zoey finds that she's short 2 credits and is given an extra assignment to cover for her Poli-Sci and psych classes. The assignment: wear a pregnancy suit for the remainder of the semester and write a thesis on the reaction of your family, friends, and the public. Catch: Don't ever actually say you're pregnant, but also don't deny it. Assumptions are a powerful device of persuasion.  
  
AN: I also plan to do one of these for CJ, and maybe even Donna, just to see what happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zoey's POV  
  
Short…  
  
Crap, great, this is just great. I'm a little more than five months away from graduation and my guidance counselor tells me I'm two credits short in my Political-Science and Psychology classes. I mean how did miss my credits in those? Oh…  
  
yeah. I guess that whole MS ordeal may have had something to do with it. Just maybe. I guess I shouldn't have missed those two labs and that major test, huh? Man, it sucks to be the First Daughter, or the third First Daughter as the case happens to be.  
  
Now, I have to go see Professors Barnes & Noble. Yes, just like the bookstore. My friends and I have gotten plenty of laughs over that. Well, I ain't laughing now.  
  
Anyway, I have to see them about getting an additional assignment so that I can get caught up and graduate on time. Geez, you'd think there'd be more perks to this.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
You Want Me To What?  
  
You've got to be kidding me. My words mirror my thoughts exactly. You want me to what?  
  
"You want me to what? You want me to pretend to be pregnant so that my father gets removed from office, and my uncle Leo has a heart attack? Because that's exactly what's gonna happen after my father kills my boyfriend, who it just so happens, is gonna kill me." They don't look even distantly amused. Hey, I understand. I'm not nearly amused. This isn't a good idea and it isn't funny.  
  
"Miss Bartlet." I hate it when they say miss like it ends in multiple Zs instead of Ss. And my father, no Toby would have a field day with that sentence structure.  
  
"Yes?" Well, duh.  
  
"You are two credits short and you graduate in little more than five months. There's no way for you to get into another class at this late date and still graduate with your class. You can either take this assignment or…you can not." I've always hated ultimatums. That's why my father and I have always gotten along, so well. He gives you choice, but he doesn't give out ultimatums, my mother on the other hand gives them and barely gives you time to do or die. I really need time to think this through. The implications of this go so far…I'm really serious. My father quite possibly could lose his office and we all know that Leo has never been too far away from a heart attack anyway. Professor Stockholm Barnes has never inspired anyone's confidence, definitely not mine, and definitely not now.  
  
"Take time to think about this, Zoey. But, I really need to know if you're gonna do this so I can go ahead and give you a grade." That's professor Vixen Noble, psychology. She's been like my college mother since I got here. She could easily stand beside my mother leave a jury deadlocked. She, having known my father all his life, even being engaged to him for a time, can go head-to-head on trivial information with him. She's like my father in female form; way too young for her age.  
  
"If I said yes, how would I be graded?" I direct the question to Professor Noble as the other one really freaks me out.  
  
"I'm gonna go on the honor system, since I trust you. I'm going to go ahead and give you the credit based on past performance. If you decide to go through with this, you'll be giving me a real-time journal on your encounters with family, friends, and, the public in general. In this, I mean we'll be doing it on a weekly basis, but you will detail everyday a best you can. Once you graduate and the semester is over, I'll be expecting a summary in essay-form detailing the general responses you received and your own response to the experience." That sounds pretty easy, I guess. But as I've heard before, nothing is as easy as it seems.  
  
"Does this go for both of you?" Why is there always something they conveniently (at least for them) forget to tell you?  
  
"No, Miss Bartlet." Again with the Zs " For me I will expect you to be monitoring the political aspects of this experiment. I expect there will be speculation and I would like you to write a thesis on the affect that your alleged condition will have on your father's administration." Is this dude serious? Or is he a republican? Ooh, I'm dying to ask, but I won't.  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Okay?" Well, what the hell else does he want from me here? A hoorah?  
  
"Okay, I'll do it. You're right I need these credits. And there's no other way for me to get them without woefully neglecting my other classes. I'll do it. Give me a start date, a place to get the pregnancy-suit, check-in dates, and a deadline for the final papers. " Professor Noble handed me a paper before I'd even finished the statement.  
  
Start Date: December 13, ****  
  
1st check-in : December 20, ****8th check-in: February 7, ****  
  
2nd check-in : December 27, ****9th check-in: February 14, ****  
  
3rd check-in: January 3, ****10th check-in: February 21, ****  
  
4th check-in: January 10, ****  
  
5th check-in: January 17, ****  
  
6th check-in: January 24, ****  
  
7th: check-in: January 31, ****  
  
…Basically every seven days from today to the last day of the semester.  
  
Final paper: Professor Noble; Psychology: June 1, ****  
  
Final Paper: Professor Barnes; Political- Science: May 24, ****  
  
No exceptions!!!  
  
You can get the pregnancy suit from the drama department. They have it in 3months, 5 months, and 7 months. They also have it in 9 months, but I don't think you'll be needing that one.  
  
Okay, I can do this. No problem. Who am I kidding? I'm screwed and now I'm taking my dad and his administration down with me.  
  
You do what you have to do. And I have to do this. May God be with all of us.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
TO: Noble_Vixen@Washington_University.edu  
  
From: 3rd_1stDaughter@White_House.gov  
  
Subject: December 20, ****  
  
December14: Well, today was eventful to say the least. I swear, I was told there was something different about me thirty times today. Only one came right to my face and said I had gained weight. If only one person noticed, then how the hell did they all get into college?  
  
Anyway, I just got a call from my mom, she expects me up at the White House in a few days. I guess I sounded too strange, because she asked if I was okay. Of course, I said I was. Then she asked if there was something I needed to tell her and again I said, "No." She didn't believe me. That much I know by now. Lying to one's mother is never easy.  
  
December15: Midterms suck. I had two pre-midterms. I have two actual midterms on the seventeenth. English and Roman Literature. Both which, thanks to my father's need to tell me things I never wanted to know, are a breeze. But I still have to pack for my trip to the House and write that paper for my Economics class. Which may I add is also a breeze.  
  
People are finally starting to catch onto the weight thing. I've heard rumors already. And to add to it, I had a hard time getting behind the desk to sit down. I heard mutters at that. I'm gonna have to go shopping at this point. The clothes I wear normally don't hide this very well. No, not at all. Must study, major Psych quiz tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, I know you know.  
  
December16: Shopping is absolute hell. Shopping for maternity clothes when you're trying not to admit you're pregnant is hell2(squared). I gotta admit, maternity is about the only kind of clothes that will fit me at this point. anything else would be denial. I'm absolutely sure I was seen by some people from school, even from the White House. But, that was the intention right? Hmmm, pack right now. Of course not, I just remembered a paper I have due tomorrow. Crap. So much for packing. Man, I'm hungry. Mmmm pickles M &Ms.  
  
Oh, my. Please let that be psychosomatic.  
  
December17: Midterms were today from me. At least two were. They were easy. But, I felt horrible all the way through them. Nauseous. I wonder if that was just psychosomatic too. Someone stopped me in the hall and asked if they could touch my stomach. I was speechless and they took that as a yes. It seemed like everyone chose that moment to stop and stare at me. I saw a whole to of dawning expressions then.  
  
It hasn't been a week and it's already getting around.  
  
December18: I didn't have any classes today, thank God. One reason: I couldn't stand it if one more person came over to me and tried to rub my stomach. Another reason: I felt like the crap on the bottom of CJ's shoes. I didn't leave the dorm all day. I had pizza delivered for lunch and Thai for dinner. Finally, my agents, especially Gina are starting to get suspicious of my appearance and enhanced eating habits. It's about time.  
  
Mom called again. She asked me again if there was something that I needed to tell her and of course again, I said no. She reminded me to pack and I got right to it before I had to get my English thing in.  
  
December19: Algebra. Easy as 3.14159. I had that same problem with the desk. Damn it. I think I'm actually gaining weight here.  
  
I finished packing. I leave for the White House tomorrow afternoon. Mom called again. The same dialogue as before.  
  
People start to mutter when I walk by now. I don't like it. I'm sick every morning. Maybe I should get this checked out.  
  
December20: I had to stop by Political Science before I left early for my long ride to D.C. Gina came right out and asked, "Am I going to be protecting the first grandchild soon or are you just going through things?" I didn't answer her. I just smiled and said, "Maybe so, maybe not." And kept walking.  
  
I've just arrived at the White House. So far, so good. But, now I've got to get past my boyfriend, mother, and dad. 


	2. 1st Base, 2nd base, not quite home

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"; there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: With graduation closing in Zoey finds that she's short 2 credits and is given an extra assignment to cover for her Poli-Sci and psych classes. The assignment: wear a pregnancy suit for the remainder of the semester and write a thesis on the reaction of your family, friends, and the public. Catch: Don't ever actually say you're pregnant, but also don't deny it. Assumptions are a powerful device of persuasion.  
  
AN: I also plan to do one of these for CJ, and maybe even Donna, just to see what happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Zoey's POV  
  
Shock, awe, astonishment.  
  
Have you ever come to visit your parents at their home and then tried to staunchly avoid them at all costs? I have today and well…I just should've stayed at school.  
  
Decmeber20: I walked into the West Wing and was immediately assailed by my mother. I thought I was too old to be swooped. Boy, was I wrong. I swear, I spent half an hour with my head between my knees before I could see straight again.  
  
Mom asked me again. You already know the answer. She didn't believe me. Her next question was proof of that.  
  
"Have you been eating well?" Her eyebrow was raised at her own question.  
  
"Yah, I've been eating fine. You can ask Gina." Just then, Dad and his all-consuming presence made themselves known.  
  
"Where's my daughter? Where…There she is." Thankfully, my father does cuddly hugs and no swooping. I don't think I could handle more swooping. As a matter of fact, that hug seemed to give me back my center. Probably his cologne. It's always had a comforting influence on me, even more so than mom's perfume.  
  
He looked at me with that concerned 'I'm your father, tell me what's wrong so I can make it better' look.  
  
I don't know if I should admit this, but I gave in. I gave in and told my father everything about this…and maybe Charlie. Anyway, I couldn't just look him in the eyes and say nothing. I asked him if we could talk in private, he agreed, and we went to the Oval to talk.  
  
~~~~~~~  
  
Inside the Oval  
  
We sat down on the couch and the look returned. I couldn't stand to worry him anymore. I put down my backpack and pulled off my heavy jacket, then my light sweater underneath. Under all that I was dressed as your average pregnant college student. Close-fitting knit grey shirt, broken-in denim overalls, and the comfortable tennis shoes.  
  
His eyes immediately found themselves on my stomach. I had to admit again that the difference was getting to be considerable. He rose slowly from his seat and came towards me.   
  
"Zoey, honey, is there something I should know here?" I don't know here, Dad. With the way I've been feeling lately, maybe.  
  
"Don't freak out, Dad. It's not what it looks like." Way to go, Bartlet. That was real Nobel of you.  
  
"It's not what it looks like? It looks like my daughter is pregnant. Another one of my daughters is pregnant!" Oh, the yelling. Yeah, a brief warning: Never go the way of Liz Bartlet. Useless to me now, but you know, for future reference.  
  
"Dad, calm down. Let me explain. Please." I let a pleading tone slip into the last word. He nods curtly, but quiets so that I can speak. "Dad, it's for college. I need to do this for my last two college credits. I'm two short."  
  
"Wow, classes at college ain't what they used to be, huh?" His joking response tells me he's willing to listen, so I'd better start explaining.  
  
"Okay, Dad. Here it is. I'm not really pregnant, but no one else knows that. I'm doing a joint assignment for my Political-Science and Psychology classes. For the remainder of the semester, I have to do a weekly journal detailing my family's, friends,' and the public's response to my alleged condition. Then, after I graduate I would have to write a paper on my psychological response to it along with everyone else's for Professor Noble and a paper on the political affects it has on your administration. And before you say anything, Dad. I know it was selfish, but it was this or graduate a semester late. I swear I think Professor Barnes is a Republican. Oh, and technically I'm not allowed to confirm or deny my pregnancy." I'm rambling now. He's not saying anything, he seems to be kind of ruminating.  
  
"Did you say Professor Noble? That wouldn't happen to be Vixen Noble would it?" Well, that shows how well he's followed this conversation.  
  
"Uh, yeah. " Hey, don't listen. It's no skin off my back.  
  
"And she put you up to this?" Where exactly is this going?  
  
"Yeah, she and Professor Stockholm Barnes." He hmmms and nods. Whew! I'm off the hook.  
  
"And don't think you're off the hook, young lady. This could cause a lot of hell in the white house and at home."  
  
"I know Dad and I told them that, but there just isn't anything else I can do."  
  
"How long have you been doing this…experiment of sorts?"  
  
"Just this week. But I'll be doing it until May."  
  
"How are you going to explain never getting anymore pregnant?"  
  
"This is just the 3 month suit. There's a 5 month suit, a 7 month suit, and a 9 month suit. And along with that, I'm gaining plenty of weight. I think it's psychosomatic. "  
  
"Zoey, honey, you're rambling again." I knew that. But if I don't give him a chance to talk, he can't yell at me. "I won't yell unless you don't shut up." That's convincing. Shutting up now. He rubs his chin thoughtfully. "You need to do this for your credits, right?" I nod solemnly. "Okay. You have my backing and I'll help you out if you start to slip up. But don't expect me to lie to your mother."  
  
"You don't have to lie. Just don't confirm or deny. Just let it be. She'll either figure it out or be kept wondering."  
  
"And Charlie?" Yeah, my boyfriend. I haven't said anything, but if his face when he hugged me hello was any indication, he's got a few very pointed questions for me.  
  
" I think I'm gonna have to tell him at some point or risk losing him or pissing him off severely."  
  
"Oh, he won't leave, but extremely pissed would be a very accurate expression for what I see coming from my body man as soon as you leave this room." Oh, great, Psychic Dad is back. And he's always right. Not like he isn't anyway.   
  
I say all a girl can say to her father at a time like this…  
  
" Save me." 


	3. Hey, There, Charlie, My Man

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"; there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: With graduation closing in Zoey finds that she's short 2 credits and is given an extra assignment to cover for her Poli-Sci and psych classes. The assignment: wear a pregnancy suit for the remainder of the semester and write a thesis on the reaction of your family, friends, and the public. Catch: Don't ever actually say you're pregnant, but also don't deny it. Assumptions are a powerful device of persuasion.  
  
AN: I also plan to do one of these for CJ, and maybe even Donna, just to see what happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
~~~~~~~~  
  
Zoey's POV  
  
Okay, go. Go, now. Come on feet, move! Right now. I know I should be, you know, moving towards the door, but my mother and boyfriend are on the other side and I don't see any good coming from that encounter.  
  
I turn back to my father and smile innocently. He looks at me over his glasses.   
  
"Shoo! Shoo! Go on, now." He makes the little accompanying motion. What am I, a dog?  
  
"Mom and Charlie are probably out there. I'm really tired and I don't really want to talk to them, right now." He gives me that 'and this is my problem how' look. I pull the puppy dog eyes out and add a pout and a whimper for dramatic effect.  
  
He takes a deep breath. "Fine, fine, go through the portico. Tell the agents where you want to go and they'll show you the way." I move to my dad's side and kiss him on the cheek, jumping up and down a bit. " Oh, and FYI: pregnant women don't jump, at least not smart ones. Neither do tired ones. Remember that. Now go." I amble out the portico doors and turn my attention to the nearest agent.  
  
"Excuse me. Can you show how to get from here to the residence? I don't think I've ever gone this way." He looks down to me before nodding, curtly and talking into his earpiece. Another agent comes out of some obscure shadow to take his place.  
  
"Miss Bartlet, if you'll follow me…" I nod and start after him. At least someone can say 'miss' correctly.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
December21: I faced my mother, my boyfriend, and will face the rest of the world very soon. Maybe even tomorrow. Oh, joy. That's going to go well.   
  
My mother is using that look on me, again. That 'doctor' look that says I know you have some kind of illness, but I'm in denial here and will be watching you like a hawk. Again, great.  
  
My boyfriend, Charlie…Yep, my boyfriend. He hugged me again. He didn't say anything, because we were in front of my mother. When we got to eventually be alone together…He asked, I choked, he understood. He's so sweet that way. He said that when I was ready to talk, he'd be waiting with pickles and cotton candy. For some reason that sounds really good to me.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The Next Morning  
  
"Zoey, sweetheart, where have you been? I've been looking all over for you." Great, I avoided her for a whole day and here she is…right outside my bedroom door. Why am I not surprised?   
  
"Mom…Hi! What are you doing here?" Hey, genius, she lives here. Now, she's outside my room. There is no escape.  
  
"I just came to get you up. It's almost noon. I thought you'd probably be hungry." I'm really not hungry or…No, I'm definitely not hungry. I'm leaning towards nauseous and very near to puking, but hungry, no.  
  
Smile, Zoey. "Sure, just give me a second to get my robe." I really have to learn to say no to my mother. I snatch up my robe and pop it on over my head. Another one of my father's habits that I've picked up.  
  
We walk down the hall leisurely and I resist the urge to run back to my room and lock the door. As we near the entrance to the kitchen I feel my stomach clinch at the smell of whatever is cooking in there. I bet to the normal, not mock-pregnant twenty-one year old who's experiencing psychosomatic symptoms of BITOS (Bun In The Oven Syndrome), that smells really good. Hell, even mom seems to think so. I, on the other hand…think I'm going to hurl. I swallow it back at the last second.  
  
Deep breath, deep breath…It's okay, Zo, dad's here. He'll cover for you. He'd so better be here.  
  
The agents at the doors nod at us and open the double-doors to the kitchen. As we enter, it's like I was hit by an egg truck. An egg truck that smells like, well, eggs. I've never been too fond of eggs, but as of now, I detest them; scrambled, poached, hard-boiled, or sunny-side up.  
  
There's dad. Shouldn't he be in the Oval? He looks up over his newspaper at us greets us with a vague "good morning." So much for him covering for me. He isn't eating either. Maybe it's not just me after all. Mom is talking to me. I turn my attention back to her with a 'hmmm?'  
  
"Zoey, sweetheart, are you hungry? What do you want?" I blink at her for what must be a full fifteen seconds before I answer.  
  
"Oh, anything is fine." Anything, but whatever they're cooking in here. I try desperately not to breathe for fear of making a mess. Dad must notice my carefully controlled breathing, because he looks up at me with a concerned expression. He mouths, 'are you okay?' I would nod, but I think you're sensing the ongoing pattern, so I give a small smile instead. All teeth and gums. It's more of a grimace, I think. The way he flinches confirms the internalization.  
  
Mom sits a plate in front of me. Oh, God, eggs, ham, and something else I refuse to identify. I close my eyes as my stomach screams at me in protest of this cruel and unusual punishment. I start as I feel a cool hand on my forehead. My eyes slide open to see my mother's concerned expression.  
  
"Zoey, you don't look so good. How do you feel right now?" I just wanna shake my head and say, "Not so good." Then, I wanna cuddle up with my momma under Grandma Rutledge's quilt and listen to her old records from when I was little. But I can't, so here's my answer.  
  
"Mom, I feel fine. Just a little--" I can't finish that sentence as I've already taken off for the kitchen sink. It's the closest thing to the toilet I can make it to. I obviously couldn't stomach another lie. Pardon the pun.  
  
My parents are behind me in seconds. My father holds my hair back and mom rubs my back. I feel crappy. No, scratch that. I feel shitty. I hate my life…and my college professors. Barnes and Noble are so on my shit list now.  
  
Soon there's nothing left for me to throw up and I'm just dry-heaving. It's official. I hate food. I push myself up from my leaned position over the sink. Yeah, that's a mess. I shudder a bit and look away. As I try to take a step back, my knees buckle and my parents catch me between them. They have to half-carry me back to the table. My mother pushes my upper-half down so that my head rests between my knees. Someone should note that this is not an easy position to breathe in, much less breathe deeply. I would also like to point out that it feels as though I've just lost every bit of weight I've gained since this started yet it feels like that weight is doubled. I really should get this checked out. But not right now. No, I think I'm gonna go to sleep now. After all, pregnant women don't jump. At least not smart ones.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hey There, Charlie, My Man  
  
*The title makes sense way at the end of the scene.  
  
Later This Afternoon  
  
I open my eyes at the feel of the sunlight on my face. My parents are asleep on the chaise by the window. At least my mother is. Dad's eyes are open and he's watching me. One eyebrow rises as he sees that I'm awake.  
  
"Good morning? How do you feel?" I do a mental check list. Head? Not stuffy or achy. Stomach? Stable, not queasy. Overall condition? Momentarily healthy, but I wouldn't recommend taking any two-mile runs for a while. Recommendation: take two aspirin and consult me after lunch. Damn, no aspirin. How do mommies-to-be do it?  
  
"I feel better than I did at breakfast."  
  
"You don't say. You've been out since noon yesterday. Your mother was worried sick."  
  
"You weren't?" He sighs.  
  
" No. I assumed this was either a part of the plan or there was really something wrong here. As you've probably figured, I was hoping for the former." Yeah, he was looking a little too unconcerned. "So, which was it?" I really don't know.  
  
"I'm not sure. I think my body's gotten more into my role than my head has. I don't think this is going to be the last time this happens."  
  
"I don't either. What are you going to tell your mother? What am I supposed to tell her?"   
  
"Tell me about what?" Damn, I didn't know she'd woken up yet. How long has she been awake? What did she hear? Jeez, this thing's already coming undone and I just got here. Now it's time to suck it up and prepare to tell some serious half-truths.  
  
"What do you mean, mom?" I paint an innocent, confused expression on my face. She, of course, does not fall for it.  
  
"Don't try that with me, Zoey Patricia. I made that look. You inherited it from me. Now, tell me about what?" She's looking at both of us now. Dad's not looking at either of us. He's already said he refuses to lie, so that leaves me to calm the waters.  
  
"Well, it's just a thing, you know. No big deal, really." She blinks her cat-like eyes at me and raises a terribly unimpressed eyebrow.  
  
"Just a thing, huh?" I nod, carefully. "So, what thing is that?" I fumble for words, but to tell you the truth I've never flat out lied to my mother before and the first time's always the worst.  
  
"It's just a thing dad and I talked about when I got here. " She sits up from her reclined position against dad to get a better look at me or you know, to just make herself more intimidating, if that's at all possible.  
  
"You mean when he whisked you away to the Oval office and I didn't see you until the next morning?"  
  
"Um, yeah, I guess. Sorry for that, by the way."   
  
"Um huh. Yeah, I bet you are." I'm too old for that look to still bother me. At least I should be. What is it about those eyes? Damn.  
  
"I am, really. I was just really tired. I'd had a really long week. All I'd really wanted to do was cuddle up under some clean sheets and sleep for a while. I've been a bit under the weather lately." Wow, I really like to state the obvious, don't I? And I think I've used up my quota of 'reallys' for this conversation.  
  
"You don't say, sweetheart? How long have you been sick, exactly?" I answer instinctively before realizing I should have thought it through.  
  
"A little over a week, now." Didn't she ask me how I was a quite a few times this past week? Yeah, I thought so.  
  
"Um huh. And didn't I ask you numerous times this past week how you were feeling?" I look away from those eyes. Oh, damn. I'm not made for this type of thing.  
  
"Uh, yeah. I'm recalling you doing that a few times."  
  
"Yeah, I bet you are. And why didn't you tell me how you were feeling then?"  
  
" Because I thought it would go away before I got here and I didn't want to worry you, unnecessarily."  
  
"Well, Zoey, I'm touched truly." Hey, dad, feel free to step in any time.  
  
He sighs a long-suffering sigh before stepping in. "Abbey, leave the girl alone. She obviously still doesn't feel too well. Let her rest a bit more for now. Yell at her when she can take it like an adult or at the very least, yell back at you." Phew! A temporary reprieve. Dad's gonna get it, but I'm safe. Poor, daddy.  
  
"Don't you start with me. You're a party to this, this, whatever it is, too. You just wait, you're next. And, I'm not done with you, young lady." Of course she isn't. Is it ever that easy with my mother? In a word: No.  
  
I sigh. Oh, hell, I'm nauseous now. I fall back onto the bed with my arm covering my eyes. I have to hold my breath and wait for the nausea to pass.  
  
Are they still talking? There can't possibly be anything left to say. We're done. Me and dad both have appointments to be yelled at…I don't see the point in this conversation anymore. This is really starting to piss me off now.  
  
"Would you two please take it outside? And no that wasn't a request. Get. Out. Now…Please." Please and thank you are the magic words, well most of the time anyway.  
  
There is complete silence. Finally.  
  
"Zoey?" That would be mom." Are you okay?" And that would be a stupid question.  
  
No, I'm not okay. I really want Charlie. Somebody, get my boyfriend! 


	4. If Wishing Made It So

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"; there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: With graduation closing in Zoey finds that she's short 2 credits and is given an extra assignment to cover for her Poli-Sci and psych classes. The assignment: wear a pregnancy suit for the remainder of the semester and write a thesis on the reaction of your family, friends, and the public. Catch: Don't ever actually say you're pregnant, but also don't deny it. Assumptions are a powerful device of persuasion.  
  
AN: I also plan to do one of these for CJ, and maybe even Donna, just to see what happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
If Wishing Made It So  
  
Zoey's POV  
  
December22: Today was one of those 'interesting' kinds of days. My dorm-mate, Nariel, has a little boy named, Noah, who I'll admit, I adore. You'll understand in a second.  
  
I was out shopping earlier and she sees me and stops to talk to me. Well, apparently, Nariel, has a 'thing' to do and needs someone to watch Noah. Guess who she asked to do it. That's right. Me. Now, I had no real problem with that. I adore Noah. He's a perfectly sweet and mild mannered baby-boy, but he gets confused about who his mother is sometimes, and that could lead to problems.  
  
Of course, I said yes, as if I was really given a choice in the matter and the next thing I know I'm riding back to the Residence as 'BOOK BAG' with 'PRECIOUS CARGO' on board.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In The Limo  
  
Okay, here we go. It's me, Noah, and Gina back here. Gina keeps looking at me and Noah with a look that indicates that she's sure she's missed something. It's like did you give birth without consulting me or something? She had switched places with a different agent to go to the bathroom when Nariel came by.  
  
Now, the question at hand…How do I deal with Mom on this? Dad's basically just gonna shake his head and sigh, thinking, 'I really thought I taught them better than this.' He's no problem. She on the other hand, may have a beef.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
IN THE OVAL OFFICE  
  
It can get kind of awkward in the room when you're just sitting in the Oval waiting for your father to come back and the baby you're babysitting gets very hungry. I forgot that Nariel was still nursing. Apparently she forgot too. So, I'm just sitting there and then there's a slight pull on my shirt. I don't pay much attention. He's been doing that for a while now. I feel a bit of a draft and can't keep myself from looking down. Well, I'll be… I blink, unable to respond to the new sensation I'm experiencing. So, this is what it feels like? It's strange. I'm sitting here, holding Noah, and he just starts…sucking on me. I adjust him a little. I know there's nothing in there, at least I don't think there is. He'll be sorely disappointed. At least he seems calm now. He fussed all throughout the whole ride here. Maybe this will be a bit of normality for him.  
  
I consider trying to pry him away for a moment, but decide that it's not worth the loss of peace in the room. My eyes are drawn to the most perfect little face, relaxed in light slumber. A tiny hand rests lightly on my breast as if to ward off intruders. I lean back on the couch so that he rests primarily on my stomach.  
  
I remember a lullaby my daddy used to sing to me when it was just me, he, and mom at home during a storm. They'd come to my room a lay on either side of me. Dad would wrap his arms around me and momma and the world would disappear.  
  
Oh, my angel, I swear to thee, Dear.  
  
You are safe and protected here.  
  
This manger offers a softer place for your descent  
  
for you to land from Heaven went.  
  
Mother guards you on your left.  
  
Father guards you on your right.  
  
The Lord, himself guards you from above.  
  
Doubt, never, this.  
  
You are surrounded by love.  
  
(And there be one other not often, do you see.  
  
He is your grandfather. He is me.)  
  
Without my even realizing it the words fall from my lips as if ordained from the Man, himself. Noah mews a little before kicking slightly awake for a moment. He looks at my face for what feels like an eternity before returning to the pleasant task from which he'd been disturbed.  
  
There is no greater feeling than this in the world. At least that's what mom said once. As I sit here, nurturing him, a boy not even my own, I understand the feeling. It'll be hard to give him back. A connection has been forged. One I never want to lose.  
  
This time, I just hum lightly, too aware am I of the fragile and rare silence the room seems to hold at this moment. I know that all too soon, I'll have to return the world outside of the moment and forget that he ever thought, even just for a while, that I was his mother. Forget that I ever wanted to be.  
  
My captivation with this little slip of humanity is shattered when I hear the door open from the portico and two someones takes a few steps in before stopping. Then, the door from the outer office opens and a troop of footsteps are coming this way. They get just inside the door before they too, stop. This time, I control my gaze. It stays fixated on the oblivious child in my arms. I shift forward a bit in an attempt to shield the sight from their eyes more for my dignity than theirs.  
  
I hear light footsteps move towards me. My mother crouches down in front of me and pushes the hair that has fallen over the baby away. I gently touch the little face and stroke the little hand that still rests possessively over my breast.  
  
"Zoey…" She doesn't have to finish her question here. I know what she's asking me. Is this little angel mine? If wishing made it so, momma. If wishing made it so. 


	5. Christmas Is A Good Time

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You"; there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and implied sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: With graduation closing in Zoey finds that she's short 2 credits and is given an extra assignment to cover for her Poli-Sci and psych classes. The assignment: wear a pregnancy suit for the remainder of the semester and write a thesis on the reaction of your family, friends, and the public. Catch: Don't ever actually say you're pregnant, but also don't deny it. Assumptions are a powerful device of persuasion.  
  
AN: I also plan to do one of these for CJ, and maybe even Donna, just to see what happens.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Christmas Is A Good Time  
  
Zoey's POV  
  
TO: Noble_Vixen@Washington_University.edu  
  
From: 3rd_1stDaughter@White_House.gov  
  
Subject: Week December 20, ****  
  
Well, you know what happened earlier this week. But let's recap from Tuesday.  
  
December 22: Today was one of those 'interesting' kinds of days. My dorm-mate, Nariel, has a little boy named, Noah, who I'll admit, I adore. You'll understand in a second.  
  
I was out shopping earlier and she sees me and stops to talk to me. Well, apparently, Nariel, has a 'thing' to do and needs someone to watch Noah. Guess who she asked to do it. That's right. Me. Now, I had no real problem with that. I adore Noah. He's a perfectly sweet and mild mannered baby-boy, but he gets confused about who his mother is sometimes, and that could lead to problems.  
  
Of course, I said yes, as if I was really given a choice in the matter and the next thing I know I'm riding back to the Residence as 'BOOK BAG' with 'PRECIOUS CARGO' on board.  
  
That was yesterday, this is today.  
  
December 23: At the end of that moment in the Oval, I couldn't speak to my mother to answer her question. I just looked at Noah.  
  
Eventually, with Dad's help, I got out of the Oval, no questions asked, at least not to me.  
  
Dad came by my room later that evening. He looked really tired. He'd been fighting with Mom, though he wouldn't admit it. He didn't have to. They could be heard all over the mansion. I didn't want this to happen. I thought this would just make his administration look funny, I didn't want to hurt my parent's marriage.  
  
I told him about Noah. I'm sorry, I have to go off on a rant for a moment. Wouldn't you know that conveniently right after the scene in the Oval, Nariel came by and took Noah home? Her timing more impeccable than you guys' [the professors]. Okay, off rant, back to Daddy…  
  
He just nodded. He really did look tired. It was just one of those moments that no one else can understand. He didn't tell Mom. He said that wasn't his place, but mine. He got hell for it too. He's sleeping in one of the guest rooms.   
  
He won't tell, ya know? I can trust him. It's killing him, literally, to keep this from her, but he won't tell.  
  
This has turned into the Bartlet Civil War. Liz and Ellie on Mom's side, naturally, and me on Dad's. I can't keep this up much longer. My Dad's got enough to do without this. Dr. Noble…he looks so tired. And that just can't be right. He's too tired. But he's not the only one. My head hurts and I'm constantly nauseous. After my 'moment' with Noah, I felt so drained I could barely stand. Dad had to catch me while Mom took Noah.  
  
A possibility I don't particularly want to consider is that maybe something isn't quite right with me. Maybe, I'm not acting anymore. I don't know what I'll do if that's the case.  
  
Dr. , If my parents can't resolve this without my intervening, I will. I'll tell them everything. I'll end this. Even if it does mean graduating late. That will simply mean you get to enjoy my sweet company a bit longer. There's no grade worth my parents' love for each other. Though I doubt this will kill their incredible love for each other; it can't exactly facilitate it's intensity. They've gone through enough this past year.   
  
I've got to go now; I'm tired again. God, am I tired. Damn it, here they come. I think they're going at it again.  
  
I don't know, Dr. Noble, I don't know.  
  
December24: I lay awake for hours tonight going over the kind of day it's been. What kind of day has it been? Some kind of day.  
  
My parents made up at some point, today or last night. I walked into the family room to find them wrapped around each other in, dare I say, a sensual embrace. I didn't want to interrupt, so I backed right out of there. Dad saw me anyway, but Mom didn't. My leaving was appreciated. I guess I won't have to tell after all. How do I know he saw me? He winked at me over Mom's head. I don't like how that came out. ; ) Assume what you will. *wink, wink*  
  
With a pep in my step, I had a picnic lunch with Charlie. Well, I tried to have lunch with Charlie, but that ended with me, Charlie, and my head in a hedge on the East Lawn. He's coming to Christmas dinner with us tonight. He's bringing Deena. I think he just wants to keep an eye on me. It seems like everyone wants to keep an eye on me, these days. Hell, I'm trying to keep an eye on me.  
  
Oh, yeah, and there's a Christmas party. That means a carefully planned outfit. Can't be too obvious, can we?  
  
December25: CHRISTMAS!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS, PROFESSOR NOBLE!  
  
I'm disappointed in myself to say that I wasn't up nearly as early as I normally am on Christmas morning. But I made it down to the tree eventually. Courtesy of Charlie, naturally.  
  
Charlie and Deena stayed the night in the Residence with us. Mom and Dad had all of their gifts brought here during the night. Deena was ecstatic. Charlie waited on me hand and foot. He's such a sweetie. God, I love him…Wow, I love him. Well, this is a revelation. Okay, not really, but I'm finally admitting this to another human being. (Teddy bears don't count.) Nor do, you know, daddies.   
  
I guess I should tell Charlie now though. Is this a good time though? I really need your advice here Professor. Help!  
  
I guess I should go into a little detail, huh? Yeah, I thought you'd agree. Well, it started Christmas morning, no…wait. It started the night before, right before the Christmas party. That's when I came fully to this realization…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
December 24 - Christmas Eve  
  
Three Hours Before the Christmas Party  
  
Zoey's POV  
  
Washington, no, World…We have a yuuuuuge problem. Not huge, yuuuuuge. I haven't a thing to wear in this damned closet that isn't going to make me look just as pregnant as I feel.   
  
*KNOCK* *KNOCK* I look up from my seemingly barren closet.   
  
"Who is it?"  
  
"It's me…Charlie." Thank God, maybe he can help.  
  
"Thank God, come in."  
  
"It's locked." I roll my eyes and hurry over to unlock the door.  
  
"Hurry, get in here." I rush him in and close the door behind him.  
  
"Zoey, what? What's wrong?" I turn to him, my back facing the door.  
  
"I have nothing to wear for tonight. This is an emergency." He blinks. *Growl* Men can never understand. "There will be press there, Charlie. I look like I could be the White House. I'm yuuuuuge. Not huge, but yuuuuuge. I'm pasty, fat, and white. I could be the White House. And don't you dare laugh at that. It's not funny." He had so better not even think of laughing at my more than obvious plight. I see a flash of teeth. He is not laughing…at…me. I look away from him. If he loved me as much as he says he does he wouldn't laugh at me like that. I will not cry in front of this jackass. I *sniffle, sniffle* a bit. He realizes he's hurting me.  
  
"Zoey, honey, I'm not laughing at you. You know I was just having a thought. Do you wanna know what it is?" No, but his tone is pleading, so I guess I can be accommodating. I *shrug*. Why do I care? "It just so happens, I was thinking…We are so meant for each other. I had a feeling that you were going to have this problem so I brought Deena up and we went shop to shop until we found the perfect dress for you for tonight." He pulls a Girardi Store bag from behind his back. Where'd that come from?  
  
"There's no way. How did you know?" Translation: Have you been reading my mind again?  
  
"'Cause, we're soul mates. It's as simple as that." I grin at him. It is, isn't it?  
  
"Yeah…It is, isn't?" I move to stand in front of him. I take the bag from him and sneak a quick peek before setting it down on some chair, I forget where in the room.  
  
He looks slightly apprehensive. "What? You don't like the dress. I can take it back and get something different--" He's babbling. Wow, that's absolutely the cutest thing I think I've seen lately. He looks like a babbling idiot, but it really is cute. Yeah, I am sick. Time to put a stop to this. With a step into his personal space, I take his face into my hands give him a soft, teasing kiss. I pull at his bottom lip and nip at it a bit. I've decided that I like that little sound he's making at the back of his throat.   
  
I pull away and smile at him. " I like, no, I love the dress; I just love you so much more. The dress will still be there in an hour, but will you?" He's blinking in thought. He doesn't know. Neither do I. As they say: Live in the day. Carpe Diem. Yes, I'm aware that it actually translates to seize the day, but I do what I want. So there.  
  
"I don't know. But from here, things are looking good." I kiss him again, and them I start pressing kisses all over his face and neck.  
  
"Maybe, if you play your cards right they'll look even better." I wink at him and give him the same smile I've seen Mom give Dad before a long night of insomnia for all of us. He gets the idea.  
  
I take his hand and pull him towards the bed. He looks back to the door warily. Giving him a slightly exasperated look, I drop his hand, and move to firmly lock the door. I jiggle the doorknob so that he can hear it. He's convinced and coaxes me over with a look. I sidle his way and walk right past him. He slides an arm around me and pulls me to him. I look up at him innocently. What could he possibly be thinking?  
  
"Watcha thinkin' about?" The look on his face is the only answer. I bite my lip and grin saucily back. I lay back on the bed and put out an inviting hand. He takes it and eases himself over me…  
  
*Clears throat* I think you know what happened after that. Anyway, we eventually got to me trying on the dress. It fit. He knows my body well, or shall I say Deena knows my body well. He is after all, only a man. But what a man, what a man he is.  
  
Now, on to the Christmas party…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~ Three Hours Later  
  
The Christmas party  
  
We were standing out in the hall outside of the ballroom, where the party was to be held, and we were checking each other over for 'possible wardrobe malfunctions.'  
  
Charlie looked, dare I say and I do, quite dashing in his simple tux. And I guess I didn't look too bad. According to Charlie I looked like a blossoming dove that fell in a vat of blue dye.  
  
I'm still not sure how I feel about that, but moving inside the party…  
  
As we entered behind Mom and Dad, Liz and Doug, and Ellie and Rick, Ellie's flavor of the moment, Charlie commented that I was going to take everyone's breath away. I gave him a big kiss for that. Can you feel me falling for him all over again here? Well, in case you can't, I am.  
  
Once we were inside, we said hi to Mom and Dad, who had been sequestered in their bedroom for the better part of the previous evening. I'm not sure they heard us though; they were pretty enthralled in each other. They were literally centimeters away from all-out making out. Of course, they didn't at that moment, because that would have been rude. No, they waited all of half an hour before they proceeded to devour one another whole. They could have at least left the room instead of retiring to a couch in the corner of the room like no one was going to notice the President and the First Lady making out back there. But I guess their reasoning was that he's the POTUS, she's the FLOTUS; who's gonna tell them what they can and can't do in their ballroom? I certainly wasn't going to.  
  
Anyway, Charlie and I danced and drank punch…Charlie wouldn't let me have eggnog. We kept getting caught under the mistletoe. Well, when Mom and Dad weren't under it. The photographers must have a hundred pictures of those two kissing and not doing much else. Hell, they didn't do much else. Not to call them bad hosts, of course. They did the appropriate toasts and all before Dad chased my giggling mother, yes giggling, out of the ballroom and up to the Residence, or to their bedroom, more specifically. Yeah, thanks goodness for the slightly soundproofed walls. It helped, not like it mattered. I couldn't have heard it anyway. I was causing a bit of insomnia myself and that's all I'm saying…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
December 25 - Christmas Morning  
  
Like I said, Charlie waited on me hand and foot today. Mom gave us looks and tipped her head with thought, but didn't say anything. She was distracted by Dad, who could not keep his hands off of her. I swear, they're like teenagers…They're worse than me and Charlie. Okay, so we were basically making out under the Christmas tree, but that was later. Mom and Dad were all over each other, first thing in the morning! The funny part was when Liz put her hand over Gus's eyes, and then Annie's. The thing was that Liz was facing the other direction and she heard Mom squeal…yes, squeal, and she just knew it was something she didn't want her children seeing quite yet.  
  
Eventually, Ellie goes, "Don't make me have to hose you two down over there. This is not sex education class. Hey, hey! There are minors present. Dad, get your hands off of that. You too, Mom. " You should have seen them, just sitting there looking duly chastised. Eventually, they remembered who the parents were and who the children were. They very quietly and inconspicuously snuck out the door. (Please know that I am being truly sarcastic.) It's not like I actually saw them go. I was a bit preoccupied with Charlie and Gus. They get along like ketchup and fries. Wow, that's a massive craving. Of course, we get along like barbecue and barbecue sauce. Guess, who's the sauce. *wriggling eyebrows**giggle*  
  
Now, on a more serious note; Charlie's seriously worried about me. I know I'm stubborn, but I can't keep worrying him like this. I've decided that I'm going to take a home-pregnancy test, if I can just find the time. Now, who am I going to get to go buy this for me? *I look, affectionately to Ellie.* Could I? I couldn't. Would I?…I probably would. But will she? We shall see. 


	6. The Favor

Author: Regency Gray  
  
Title: The Experiment   
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You;" there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and implied sexual, adult situations.  
  
Summary: This assignment is starting to get the best of her and now with this new thing to deal with, she doesn't know how she's going to come out on the other side of this, heart, hide and mind intact.  
  
AN: I'm not in any way critiquing at home mothers; this is just my view on Elizabeth; that's all. It's not even my view, but Zoey's. It's what makes sense to me.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.

wwwwwwwwwww

Pregnant, Not Pregnant, Not Clear

TO: NobleVixenWashingtonUniversity.edu

From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov

Subject: January 3,

So let me sum up my week for you. I think I may be pregnant, but, you know, not. That's what my week has been about. It all started when I asked my older sister, Ellie to buy a home pregnancy test for me…Well **_attempted_** to ask anyway.

**December28: I was sitting at the kitchen table, early in the morning despite our spotted history together and eating, or at least trying to eat breakfast. I had toast and bacon, and orange juice and maybe something else. I was waiting for Ellie. I needed to ask her if she'd do this for me.**

Well, of course, Ellie was the last to come down for breakfast, Rick in tow. There was no way I could talk to her just then. Everyone was there. But I thought I had to try to get her attention, at least. There was no way to do it without drawing some kind of suspicion upon myself, so I said, what the hell and went with it.

" Hey, Ellie?" I'm still looking down at my food, trying to appear somewhat casual and as always, failing miserably.

"Yeah." She's not even paying attention to me. She's canoodling with her boy toy, who is beginning to annoy me. I think whatever hormones in me are starting to seriously kick in.

"Hey, I'm talking to you and it'd be preferable if you looked at me while I did it." I feel the eyebrows rise around the table. I don't care. I tried to get her attention the nice way and she ignored me. Now, I get to be a bitch about it. "Ellie, can I talk to you now, please?" I've perfected the art of the requested order. It's sounds like a question, but it's so not.

"But--"

"Now, Eleanor!" I put down my fork and stand up. Sometimes, I can't tell who I sound more like; my mother or my father. I like to think of myself as a sweet little combination of both.

We go to stand outside and it's not hard to see that Ellie pissed at being addressed as before. I'm starting to feel bad and I look down a little guiltily.

"Zoey, what the hell was that about?" I rub my hand over my face. God, I just got up and I'm already exhausted. This is not what I need right now. I shouldn't even be out here talking to her.

"I'm sorry; I really needed to talk to you and naturally, you were more interested in Rick than in me." Maybe this is me being unfair, but I need my sister and she isn't there for me. It was never this way before.

"Zoey--!" She looks confused and a little hurt. I know the feeling, I'm hurt too.

"You know what? Don't worry about…" I make vague motions with my hands. "This…thing. I've got this. I've got Dad." I didn't say that to hurt her, but I do. I have him with me, so I'm okay. I guess I'm okay. Yeah, I'm okay.

"Zoey--?" I put my hand up to keep her from talking. I almost want to laugh. She's barely gotten a word out edgewise throughout this whole, I almost said conversation, but it's really more of a monologue.

I look up at my older sister and I love her. I don't know what brought the thought on, but I just do. I shake my head. I don't understand what's happening with me right now; I just know I need to not be having this conversation.

I take a step forward and give my sister a hug and kiss her on the cheek. Maybe she'll forgive me, maybe she'll understand. I hope so. Before she can speak, I step away and walk back into the kitchen to retake my seat. I find myself eating the food that had nauseated me not half an hour ago. I'm famished. Emotional upheaval always did give me an appetite.

wwwwwwwwww

And that was that, at least for that day, anyway. The next day--Well, the next day was worse. Or at least it felt worse at the time. Looking back it was probably one of the best days this week. I guess it's all about your perspective.

**wwwwwwwwwww**

You Make Me Feel…Like A Natural Mother

**December29: I roll out of bed at the sound of the alarm and land flat, on my face. Thanking God that I didn't accidentally break my nose, I make my morning trek to the bathroom.**

I start for the door, before deciding that I'm not ready to face the day yet, to face other human, you know, things. That's not a rare occurrence these days. Does all pregnancy feel this way? God, I hope not. Otherwise, it does not bode well for any future Bartlet-Young babies. That's if we can get past this one, real or imagined.

I lay facedown on the bed, weary beyond all possibility and suddenly the scope of what I'm doing, the reality of it all is too much. What I'm doing, too selfish. Dear God, what have I done? And as the familiar queasiness hits me, I ask myself, 'What the hell do I think I'm doing?' What right do I have to do what I'm doing? And for what? For no other reason than to graduate with my class? Would another year really be such hell? I realize the answer too late. It wouldn't have been too bad. It may have even been fun. More opportunities to do something I love: To learn. But, as they say, "Pride comes before the fall." Truer words were seldom spoken. Especially not in the life of a college student, _this_ college student.

As I roll over to stare at the ceiling, there's a knock at the door. I don't think I'm ready to see anyone right now. They continue to knock despite my silence.

"Zoey, honey, it's Dad. Can I come in?" For a moment, I actually consider not letting him in, but that doesn't last for long.

"Come in, Daddy." I don't think I've called him 'Daddy' in years. He comes in slowly, peeking his head around to make sure I don't have any sharp objects, me thinks. That brings a tiny, little thing of smile to my face. "Don't worry, no sharp objects." I hold up both hands as proof. He smiles back at me. I can't help, but see myself in his eyes and wonder if I look as tired as he does. I'm sure I do.

I sit up with some difficulty and do a cursory inspection of my father. He leans back against the door and watches me. His face is hidden from me in the vague midmorning shadow. His eyes still shine at me though. It's like in those horror movies when the creature stares out from the dark wherever at him prey. That's not particularly concerting.

"I heard you talking to Ellie this morning…I'm pretty sure we all did." I don't know what to say to that. "You know, I know a little about sibling politics and that there was contrived. There wasn't a single way she could have won with you just then, was there?" I shake my head in the negative. Why lie? He's got me down pretty well. "What's happening, angel? You know, you can tell me." I bite my lip and nod. I pat the bed beside me. He steps out of the shadows and plops down next to me. He puts an arm out and I don't hesitate to slide under there. I hide my head under his chin, in the crook of his neck. It's easier to cuddle him than to look at him. He knows this and only squeezes me gently. I sit there for what feels like forever before I start to talk.

"Daddy, I'm scared out of my mind right now." I don't feel his confusion, so his next question causes mine.

"What are you afraid of?" He already knows. I know he does. He always knows.

"You already know."

"That doesn't mean you've admitted it to yourself. Sometimes you have to say it to yourself _or _to someone else. Maybe a father even, or a sister." I think he's hinting at something there. Nah.

"Was that a hint?"

"That wasn't anything you didn't want it to be."

"Okay, well I see how you became a politician." He throws up an eyebrow at me. That's something he stole from mom. He knows that too.

"Very funny. Now, quit stalling, would you? What's wrong?" I sigh and snuggle a little closer. I'm practically on his lap now. He's not complaining.

I'm afraid that if what I'm starting to think is true that…I'll turn into Liz. I don't want to be Liz, Daddy." He strokes my hair as I feel the tears wet his collar.

"What wrong with being Liz?"

"It's not so much that something's wrong with her. It's just that she's so determined to be a better parent than you, Daddy. She's so sure that you and Mom were that bad that she can't follow any of her dreams, because that would mean being a bad parent. I don't want that. I want to be what I want to be and I want my kids to know what I want to be, what I will be. I don't wanna miss the important stuff, but I don't want to look back on my life and have children, a husband not a whole hell of a lot else. She doesn't even see what she's done to herself, because she's so sure that she's doing it better, that it will be better this way. She thinks Annie doesn't know and that Gus won't feel it too, one day. But he will. She doesn't get that Annie isn't rebellious, so much as just trying to get out of her mother's way so that she can follow the dreams that she thinks are lost to her. I don't want my children to hide from me out of some misguided since of debt and compensation. I want them to get knee-deep in whatever I do, to be right there with me. I want a rebel who's a rebel just because. I just want to be a good mom, Daddy, even when I feel like I'm predisposed to not be." I let out a ragged breath and wait for him to say something, anything. It takes me a moment to realize he's crying too. He's crying because he knows. He's always known.

"You'll be an amazing mother, Zoey. Never doubt that. And God willing, your mother and I will be right there with you. We won't let you turn into Liz. Believe us, we've tried talking to her about it; she won't hear it from us. She thinks we're trying to run her family, that just because we helped her raise Annie in the early years we think we're entitled to have an opinion about every decision she makes regarding her children. She's got her blinders on and that's fine. I just hope she'll take 'em off before she runs head-first into a tree or off a bridge at full speed. One day, she'll ask herself whether she wants right or saved. When that happens, well, we'll see…" I nod a little.

"It's not even that she's a bad mother, but she's trying so hard to do something that comes naturally--" Daddy interrupts.

"It comes naturally to you, honey. It's not the same for everyone. When I saw you with that little baby in the Oval a few days ago, I thought that I'd stepped into some time-warp and that I was in the future with you and your child. The whole scene…was right, Zoey. There was no awkwardness. It was just you doing what comes naturally to you, mothering. Liz never really had that ease, not at first. She grappled with motherhood with Annie, even with Gus, a little. She just hid it better the second time around. She's spent years trying to convince us that she's a good mother, now she's trying to convince herself and she'll never believe it until her children are grown up and thanking her for all the sacrifices she's made. I hope it's not too long time before she realizes that that's not what it's about." I lean back a little to look at him.

"What's it about?" He looks surprised that I haven't figured it out by now. I shrug I'm no one's mother.

"It's about your children living to grow up, living to bury you, the parent. Because that's when they are no longer your responsibility. That's the way it's supposed to end. They can live their whole lives without you and they're still your baby, no matter how long you're apart or how old they get. That's all it's ever about, besides spoiling the grandkids, of course." I smile. Of course. "Whatever happens, you'll be all right, honey. I'm with you, your sisters are with you, your mother, and, of course, Charlie." I nod.

"Of course." There's a moment of silence and we both laugh. My heart feels lighter. I think I can do this, whatever this is. I'm not alone. Whatever happens, I'll do what comes naturally. I'll be a mother.

wwwwwwwwwwww

We did eventually leave the room. We went to breakfast, again. I didn't speak to anyone, except my father. It wasn't exclusion, I just didn't have anything to say to anyone else. We talked about politics, I think and that's about it.

I went about my day. I stopped at the Oval to speak to my father. I told him what I was going to ask Ellie to do for me…

**wwwwwwwwwww**

**I shift around in my seat a bit and wait for him to say something. He looks me up and down as if there's a sign on me that says pregnant or not somewhere. Finding none, he looks into my eyes.**

"You look a little pregnant."

"Thank you, Daddy. I didn't already feel fat before. Now, I know I look fat." His eyes go wide and I know he's having flashbacks to Mom and Liz. "Careful, Dad. You're having a flashback."

"Boy, am I." He shakes his head to clear it. "What exactly do you need?"

"I need a pregnancy test. At least one."

"I'd suggest more than one of several kinds. Those things can gives false everythings. Your mother took two of the exact same test and got positive and negative. That was confusing for her, me, and the doctor."

"They had pregnancy tests when Mom was pregnant with us?" I didn't know that.

"No, it was more recent. A few years ago." His voice is quiet. I know I shouldn't ask, but I have to know.

"What happened?" He shrugs

"Back at the beginning of the congressional hearings, your mother was very sick. She thought she had the flu. I wasn't so sure about that. I know her body better than my own and I've seen her pregnant enough times to know what the symptoms are when it happens. I asked her about it. She said that there was absolutely no way that she was pregnant. So naturally she almost certainly was. We had someone we trusted go out and buy her two pregnancy tests. She took them both at the same time. One said negative, the other positive. That was useless, so we set up a doctor's appointment for her. Naturally, everything went downhill from there and we didn't end up keeping the appointment because your mother had retreated to Manchester. Long story short, if there was a baby…there wasn't a baby, either way." I stare at my father and wonder if that's as easy to say as it sounds. I don't think it is.

"I'm sorry." That's inadequate, but it's all I've got.

"Me too, Zoey. Me too. I'll get CJ to buy a few tests for you. Is that okay?" I nod.

"That'd be fine. I'm going to lay down for awhile, I don't feel too good." I press my fingers to my temple for a moment.

"Why don't you lay on the couch in here? I swear it's comfortable." I look at him, incredulously.

"Are you serious? Wouldn't I be in the way?"

"Peach Patch, I'm the President. What I say goes. If I want my daughter to nap in the Oval Office, then, dammit my daughter will nap in the Oval Office." I shake my head. My life is too odd. "Besides, you could keep me company. It gets lonely in here sometimes." He sounds sad. It puts me in the mind of the phrase: It's lonely at the top. Boy, isn't it?

I plop down on the couch, head by the door so that I can watch him. "Guess I'm staying." He shakes his head at me.

"I guess you are. Get some sleep, sweetheart. I'll wake you up for lunch." As I start to drift off, he stops me. "Hold on, hold on. I forgot to do something." He gets up and leans down over me. He presses a kiss to my forehead. "There you go. Now you can go to sleep." I would laugh if I wasn't so drowsy. I settle for a sleepy grin. As my eyes close, I think I feel him put his blazer over me. Wrapped up in his familiar warmth, I snuggle down and fall asleep. Daddy's right, this couch is comfortable.

wwwwwwwww

Okay, maybe that day wasn't so bad. In fact, it was kind of good. Like I said, it's all about your perspective.

**wwwwwwww**

**December30: Today is the second to last day of the year and I don't care. I give no kind of a damn. Because, today, CJ's buying the tests. I asked Daddy, yes, I'm back to calling him Daddy, to ask her to buy them for me. I wasn't there, I don't know how it went down. I have only his account to go on. Here it is…Dad's POV, of course. Forgive the embellishments. And the idioms. And the possible random use of things you could care less about.**

**wwwwwwwwwwwww**

The Favor

Dad's POV

I'm sitting in the Oval Office, signing things that I don't care about and probably couldn't tell you about even if I did. I'm waiting for my senior staff to come in on staff call. Let's be frank, the only one I really care about talking to at this point is CJ. Oh, I love the rest of them, but I CJ's the one I need today. But the rest of them can't know that. So in they come…Josh, Sam, Toby, and, last, but not least CJ. Leo slips in through the side door. We do the customary greeting, which we really have to do away with. They get so dull after awhile. Anyway, we do those and then, they begin to tell me about the things that are about to become my problem throughout the day. All I have to do is open my eyes in the morning and I have more problems than I had when I went to bed and the ones I had before have gotten worse. I mean, I can't step, lean, or breathe in any direction without offending the right or alienating the left. But, boy, does the center love me…most of the time.

Anyway, Josh goes first in telling me about a bill that we're trying to get passed that is actually starting to look like it might pass. I've long since learned not to get excited or to base my moods on the machinations of the 108th(?) United States Congress. I'm not excited, because, let's be honest, I've got other things to be thinking about. I smile what I think is encouragingly and tell him to go for it. Don't sell the marriage for the license, but go for it. He smiles in his somehow modestly arrogant way and sits back to let someone else take center stage. Toby…wonderful. Somehow my nearly positive mood is about to get severely axed and the executioner is named Toby Ziegler. He's about to tell me how we aren't talking about the things that matter, about the things that affect, really affect, people's lives. He keeps throwing this in my face like I'm completely ignorant or completely blind or just too stupid to feel the hopelessness that seems to enshroud the world we live in today. I'm not blind or any of those things, I'm stuck in a powerfully hopeless position. He going to be articulate, he's going to be polite, brutal…and completely right. That's Toby.

He begins to speak and I barely resist the urge to prematurely bang my head on the desk and continue with this day in a concussed stupor. It honestly couldn't hurt much, since most people seem to think that that's how I go about my day anyway; my brains dripping profusely out of my terribly left ear. Or my unbelievably centered nose, depends on who you talk to. At least, I could never be accused of being significantly right-wing.

"Mr. President, we're off message, sir. We--we're not saying what we should be saying at this point in our term." Note the _our term._ "The people aren't hearing what they should be hearing from the man that made them so many promises. The man, the people in the big, White, House promised them a better life and, so far, they don't seem to be reaping the benefits of this, so called, better life. Where is it, this better life? Did someone send me a package that got lost in transit? Did my neighbor overcome and leave me behind? Did I miss the bus, if not to Easy Street, to a street that's easier than this? That's what they're asking, sir. So, why aren't we answering?" I look up at him for just a moment, but the accusation is his gaze has me disillusioned. I want to change the world; that's why I'm here, but I can't. Every way we turn, there's a roadblock. To help, we must give; to give, we must lose.

"I'm the man, right?" I'm not being funny; I just don't have anything else to say to all this. He seems to think I'm being funny.

"Mr. President--" I interrupt him; he hates that and I don't give a bit of a damn. I move to my feet and my voice reaches volumes sure to be heard outside these doors, but I don't care, because he doesn't know what I know.

"Toby, I'm not as blind, stupid, or ignorant, as you are in your oh so, roundabout way trying to tell me you think I am. I see my people, Toby. I see their pain. I sleep, no I lay awake at night with their pain to keep me company. I swear more than once, it's pushed Abbey out of the bed. " I hear vague sniggering quelled quickly by a sharp glance from Leo. " I eat, drink, and think with that pain, Toby. No matter what I do from here on out of here, that pain is as much mine as the heart that beats in my chest. I live and will die with it. Because, I've let them suffer for much too long; too many have died on my watch. I want to change the world too, Toby. Show me a way, any way, and change the world I will. Show me a way." I stare at him, dizzy and out of breath. If he can give me any way, short of a pact with Satan himself, I will do it. I just want to serve my people and my God, who I love in equal measure. I just want to do what I was put here for.

My hands grasp the edge of the desk with white knuckles. I'm so frazzled that I think I've developed a nervous tic. My vision is getting a little fuzzy around the edges and I blink to try and clear it. It feels like someone is sitting on my chest. I close my eyes in an attempt to regain my equilibrium, it's not easy. I can literally hear myself breathe.

"Mr. President?" I can hear the concern in CJ's voice. She's closer than I remember her being. "Mr. President, I'm going to help you back into your seat and then, I'm going to call the First Lady down here, as well as have Admiral Hackett paged." I've finally gotten a hold on myself and can open my eyes. Sam and Josh are poised to stand and Toby is stroking his chin busily, his face set hard. Leo is close on my other side, his face more concerned than he'd be comfortable with if he could see himself. I take another breath and find that I can breathe fine now. I shake my head.

"CJ, I'm fine. I just got a little worked up. Don't worry, I'm fine. " I look to both she and Leo, making deliberate eye contact. Then, I look to Josh and Sam, receiving wary nods, but they're still poised to stand. I look to Toby, who's looking to the ground. I know that stance. He's feeling uncharacteristically guilty. I know it could be days before he looks me in the eye again, so I don't even try. "Guys, I'm okay. I'm well. Please, don't worry. Now, can we get on with this? What else is there on the agenda for today?" I have the feeling that the agenda just got a lot lighter by silent unanimity.

"That's all for the day, Mr. President. Guys, you have your things. Go do them." CJ starts to move from my side with the rest of them. I remember the reason I needed to talk to her.

"CJ, could you stay? I need to talk to you about something." She looks at me warily, probably thinking I'm going to berate her for her actions a few moments ago. I smile, attempting to reassure her and she smiles back at me. Her defensive stance eases. Good, otherwise this could quickly go wrong. She should know that I'd never scald her for her concern. If she wasn't concerned, then she wouldn't be Claudia Jean.

"Yes, sir." I wait for Toby, Sam, and Josh to file out silently, throwing suspicious glances over their shoulders as though they have the notion that they're being left out of an important loop. It's a loop, just not their loop. I'm about to start talking when I realize that Leo's still standing off to the side. I look behind me at him and raise my eyebrows. He looks back at me, obviously not getting it or not wanting it. I motion towards the connecting door to his office, hoping he'll get the hint without me having to spell it out for him in front of CJ.

"You want me to close it?" Okay, that's ignorance on purpose and he knows it.

"I want you to go through it…and yeah, then you can close it." He still looks surprised that I'm basically giving him the boot. Well, this isn't his loop either…at least, not for a few months yet. It's already CJ's loop. He's taking his sweet time getting there, looking over his shoulder like I'm actually going to start talking until he's out of the room, with the door firmly closed.

It takes him what feels like an hour, but he eventually gets out and the door does get closed after I have CJ go close it. Closing it seemed to slip his mind after he crossed the threshold. _Right._

CJ comes to stand in front of me. I wave a hand towards the chair next to my desk. She sits down, the worried look back on her face.

"CJ, take a breath before you pass out. You're not being fired, nor are you being reprimanded. Calm down."

"Then, sir, if I may ask, why am I here? I mean, if I haven't done anything wrong?"

"I have to ask you a favor. It's not an order, you may feel free to decline at any time, but if you did this, I and certain members of my family would be eternally grateful." I may have made that sound less like a request and more like a plea. I hope I haven't made her feel as though she should feel obligated to do this. She swallows and shifts in her seat.

"What's the favor exactly?" Now for the clincher.

"I need you to buy some home pregnancy tests for me. I obviously can't buy them myself and I trust you. I need someone I trust to do this, someone who would be above question and that's you. If you need time to think about this, I understand. Take as much time as you need." She has a perplexed look on her face.

"Mr. President, I'm a ways from health class, but I'm pretty sure those tests can't be for you. And I thought Abbey was well…beyond…you know, that." She clears her throat and looks down. I would laugh at her, but I don't think that'd help anything.

"Yeah, it's not for Abbey, but don't give up on her quite yet." CJ looks up and gives me a look with spark. I send that spark right back. Hey, I could still do it. She grins a little. I know that little interchange will stay between us. "It's for one of the girls…" I don't say more than that and she looks at me, trying to read what I'm not saying out loud. I never got Zoey's exclusive permission to tell anyone, but I can still help her along.

"Okay. Is it Liz?" I quirk an eyebrow. "Okay, I don't know what that is, so that's for later. Is it Ellie?" I look over each of my shoulders, left and right. "We're going to call that a no. Zoey?" I point at her with my pen. She sits up straight. "You're okay with that?" I smile. It doesn't matter one way or another.

"I don't think it matters whether I'm okay with it, CJ. God's got his own plans. So will you do it?" She sits for a moment.

"Yes, sir. Which tests do you need specifically or will any do?" I take a piece of stationery out of my drawer. It's a list of tests that we want her to get. We surfed the web and researched which were best and decided that if we were gonna do it, we may as well make it a project. There's a set number of each kind. If we get more than fifty/fifty either way, we're going to the doctor. We're probably going either way, but still…I hand her the list. Her eyes widen.

"That's a lot of tests, sir."

"You will be completely reimbursed for the full cost of the tests, as well as for any gas you expend in taking the trip. And if you get into an accident on the way, you can stay in the Residence to recuperate."

"That's very generous of you, Mr. President." I flash a smile and give a semi-careless shrug.

"I'm a generous guy."

"That you are, Mr. President, that you are." She stands, still perusing the list. "Is this all, sir?" I nod and she moves towards the door.

"CJ, I trust you will use discretion in handling this errand?" She finally looks up. I know I can trust her, but I need her to know that.

"Of course, sir. The utmost." I sit back. My part here is basically done.

"You can go."

"Thank you, Mr. President." She opens the door, slipping the list into her pocket. She turns back to me for a moment. "Sir, we know why you're here. Sometimes we just forget that you're just a powerless as us. You just have more perks." I'm grinning now. I've done the only thing I think I'm going to be getting done today and I'm feeling pretty good.

"I know." She does, they do. She nods and slips away. And now it's up to her, next God, and then…we'll see.

I pick up the phone and push line two. Debbie can't make this call for me. I know I won't forget. I push the number for the Residence. Ellie picks up. "Eleanor, hey, sweetheart."

"Hey, dad. What's up? Is something wrong?" I smile. Eleanor was always the worry-wart. She's the human manifestation of her mother's nervous side.

"No, honey, everything's fine. Could you get Zoey on the phone for me?" I can tell she's still suspicious, but she agrees.

"I'll get her." I hear her put the phone down and walk away. I sit here and wait…and wait…and wait some more. There must be something else I need to be doing. Finally, someone picks up the phone.

"Daddy?"

"Yeah."

"You talked to CJ?"

"Yeah."

"And?" She's the human manifestation of her mother's excitable side.

"And she's on board."

"Did you tell her?"

"She knows the who, but not the how or the circumstances." I would swear that a snarky remark lingers in the air, but it goes unsaid.

"Okay."

"Okay? Is that all?"

"Daddy, you're more excited about this than I am, aren't you?" I would be smiling bigger, but I think my face would split.

"A little. That might be my next grandchild in there." The thought is one-fourth horrifying, three-fourths exciting. Okay, half and half. Maybe a little more the former than the latter?

"Don't get too excited, Dad. It might not be, too. I don't want to disappoint you if that turns out to be the case." My smile dims. I've been here before; it's always the disappointment that hurts the most.

"I know, sweetheart, but I can still hope."

"I know, Dad. Me too, me too." And for a second I fancy that I can hear her mother's wonder in her voice. But just for a second.


	7. Failure Is A Two Way Street

Author: Regency  
  
Title: The Experiment  
  
Category: Drama/ Romance? Humor  
  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey...  
  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: Not season four; "The Fall's Gonna Kill You;" there may be a sequel yet.  
  
Warning (s): Language, maybe some violence and implied sexual, adult situations. Minor character death.  
  
Summary: This assignment is starting to get the best of her and now with this new thing to deal with, she doesn't know how she's going to come out on the other side of this, heart, hide and mind intact.  
  
AN: I apologize that I don't finish the weeks anymore, but with so much action on given days, it seems superfluous. It'll all come out in the final essay. Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth.  
  
Failure's A Two-Way Street  
  
To: From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov Subject: January 10,   
  
I'm not even gonna summarize this for you. You're never going to believe the kind of week I've had. I don't believe the kind of week I've had.   
  
January4: I'm sitting here, staring at the paper bag on the table. They're in there. The tests are in there. CJ brought them over this morning before she started work. That was sweet of her. Dad'll make sure she gets reimbursed. I'll have to say thank you again later. I keep staring at the bag. I haven't even opened it yet.  
  
I'm afraid that if I open the bag, the very implication will become a condition. Did I ask for this? By doing this assignment, did I tell God that I thought I was ready to be a mother? By critiquing Liz, did I tell Him that I thought I could do it better? Did I? Damn it! Me and my big mouth. At least, I can say I came by it earnestly. My dad's a loudmouth. In an intellectual kind of way, of course.  
  
Me, I'm just a loudmouth. Now, I'm just stalling because I'm too afraid to mess with the bag. I think I'm just going to leave it there. Yeah, just for a little bit.  
  
I get up and leave the room. I have to go back to school tomorrow. I should pack. I stop at the door and give it one more look, but become skittish and nearly sprint away. I get so wrapped up in my last minute packing that I forget to pick up the bag until the next morning when we're all rushing to get out, realizing that we should have left last night...  
  
January5: I run out of the elevator and onto the ground floor, trying to remember where I left my bag with all my books in it. Damn it! I run to the sitting room and see my mom standing there going through the plastic bag I left on the table. The tests. Oh, hell.  
  
I stop at the door and stare at her holding my tests, vainly hoping that she will put them down and leave. She picks it up, looking uncertain what exactly to do with it. Please, just leave it. I'm going to need those later. I see my bag on the corner, under the table. She picks that up too. Damn. She looks up and sees me standing in the doorway.  
  
"Zoey, honey, you left your bag. Or should I say bags?" She holds up both and I wince. I know there's no way to hide this from her.  
  
"Yeah, can I have them? I'm going to need them...for class."  
  
"I bet. You do know what's in this one, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"You wanna tell me about it?"  
  
"No, I don't think I want to do that."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You'll know why soon enough."  
  
"But not now?" I shake my head.  
  
"Not now."  
  
"Okay, I trust you, but you know you can talk to me if you've gotten yourself into trouble. We don't have to tell your father, if you don't want him to know." I open my mouth, but stop. She hears what I didn't say. "Unless he already knows and I'm the one who's out of the loop." I shrug. "What's going on, Zoey?"  
  
"I can't. I wish I could, but it's not as simple as it used to be. Just trust me, momma. Trust me." She nods.  
  
"All right, honey, I'll trust you, but don't make me regret it."  
  
"I can't promise you won't, but you won't be blindsided. I promise." I kiss her cheek and take the bags, beating a hasty retreat for the car that's waiting to take me back to school. I already said goodbye to everyone else. God, help Daddy.  
  
It took some doing, but I managed to get to all of my classes today. Just barely. I had gone through two classes before I realized that I'd been carrying the pregnancy tests around with me. I threw them to an agent and took off. I hoped they made it back to my dorm. They did.  
  
I plop down on my bed and stare at the bag sitting lonesome on my pillow. I have no doubt that the bag has been thoroughly examined by Gina, but that's for another time. I don't care who knows I have the tests. I care who knows the results of them. Thankfully, my professors took pity on my classes and didn't assign us any homework. I've never been so thankful. I have the dorm to myself tonight, because my dorm-mate thought this was the perfect excuse to party. 'Karma,' she said. 'You can't fight karma.' Sometimes, she annoys me. However, she is my sister in credits and therefore, I shall never ditch her. Though the desire is often quite strong.  
  
I schlep around it for a while, before finally snatching it off the bed with defiance. These are just tests. Whatever the outcome, God already knows. As I head resolutely to the bathroom, there's a knock on the door and I falter. The last thing I need now is an interruption. I got to the door, bag secreted behind my back, and put on a hospitable expression. Who the hell needs me now?  
  
It's Nariel. Of all the things I should've expected that should've been the first one. Before she even speaks, I hear a familiar gurgling around the corner. It's Noah.  
  
"Nari, why are you knocking? This is your dorm too." She stuffs her hands into the pockets of her too-snug jeans and looks bashful. She always looks bashful.  
  
"I was stalling, kind of." I drop the bag behind the door and keep watching her. She always says I look like my parents when I look at her this way. She never specifies which one.  
  
"What were you stalling for?"  
  
"I need someone to watch Noah." I barely suppress a curse. Of all the nights... Normally, I wouldn't mind, but tonight...  
  
"Nari, I really can't tonight. You know, any other time I would, but this time..." I shake my head, hoping she understands. Any night, but tonight. She shrugs and takes a step back.  
  
"It's cool." I stuff my hands in the pockets of my sweatpants.  
  
"Where you gonna take him?"  
  
"I'm gonna take him to Mark's. He'll watch him." I feel my brow furrow in concern and confusion. I know that Mark's Noah's father and all, but I also know how he feels about being a father. I've seen them together. If that's the alternative, the tests can wait.  
  
"Honey, you know what, don't worry about it. I'll take him. Just come back for him later. Are you going home?"  
  
"Nah. There's just some stuff I've got to do, you know..." I nod my head. It's a little known fact that Nari has a cheap drug habit. It's cheap so far, because she doesn't have that much money to begin with, but I foresee it getting worse. I hope it doesn't one day cost her her life, or worse, her son. I've tried getting her to quit, but she says it's what she needs. With her home life, I can't be the one to tell her what she does and doesn't need. That doesn't stop me from sending agents after her on her little excursions. She always leaves Noah with me. I'm just making sure her son has a mother in the morning.  
  
"Give me, Noah. Come back when you're done. And don't do what you normally do. Don't bring that here. You'll get all three of us in trouble." She nods. Most wouldn't believe someone as pretty as her has a $20 - $30 a day cocaine habit. I think she's waiting to die. I'm waiting for her life to kill her. It's only a matter of where, when, and who. I wonder if I'd cry at her funeral. I would; she's my sister.  
  
Her eyes glitter at me. She hands me Noah in his little baby basket along with his diaper bag. Noah coos at me and I give him a little tickle. I want a baby as cute as this. Motherhood is definitely my calling. I feel her eyes on me. I look up and smile at her. I silently wish her luck and wish her well. Come home. That's all I have to say to her. She knows the rest. She smiles her angelic little smile and slips away down the hall and out of the dormitory. And tonight, just like, every night, I wonder if she'll make it back all right or if I'll she'll be someone's top story on the news in the morning. Everyone in my life's a top story.  
  
I close the door and sit Noah's basket on the bed. He looks up at me with his unfocused glance and waves his arms around. Adorable. I sit down beside him and play with him for awhile until his eyes start to flutter sleepily. I look at the clock on the Nari's bedstand and see that it's already 11 pm. He probably should have been asleep hours ago. I adjust the blankets around him in his little basket and kiss him good night. I sit him on the far side of the bed near the wall and pile pillows around him so that the basket doesn't tip. I just watch him until I'm sure he's asleep. His lips pucker and make sucking motions. I dig around in his bag and find his binky. I stick it in his mouth and away he goes. I watch him for a little while longer before retrieving the bag from behind the door and tiptoeing to the bathroom, leaving the door cracked open in case Noah cries.  
  
I've got like six tests and two of each. That's a lot of pee, but somehow I manage. I sit on the toilet lid and stare at the frikkin' laboratory our bathroom has become. There's a little timer sitting on the edge of the tub, slowly ticking away at the minutes and seconds of each of the tests. I didn't set it until I finished the last one so that they'd all be done and I could check them at the same time. One minute until the last one is finished. This of course means that several of the others are long since done, but not the last one, the very last one. Forty seconds. That's more than a minute. God, a minute's never seemed so long. Thirty seconds. Half a minute. Will it ever end? Twenty seconds. Almost there. I wonder if Noah's still asleep. Ten seconds. I hear a whimper in the other room. I move into room without thought and peek into the basket. His eyes are wet and he's fussy. I pick him up and cradle him close.  
  
"What's up little guy? What's wrong." I sit down and hear a ding go off in the bathroom. The tests are done. All of them. Before I can even think about it, Noah really starts to bellow. "Hey, hey. What in the world?" I bounce him a little and he only looks more aggravated. "Are you hungry? Are you wet?" I nod. He's wet. Don't ask me how I know; I just know. Woman's Intuition.  
  
I lay him down on his back and take of his little bodysuit. His diaper is soggy. Um, eww. I dig around into the diaper bag and pull out a new outfit and another diaper.  
  
"How about some jammies? You wanna wear some jammies?" I hold up the green bodysuit with attached booties. His little fingers extend towards it, but it's beyond his reach. "Yeah, jammies. But first, we gotsta change your wittle diaper. Yeah, let's change the diaper." I pull the little diaper off and roll it up to be disposed of later. Baby wipes. "Wipe the little bottom. Wiping the little bottom." He gurgles and laughs. I spot the little bottom with powder and do a little check to make sure there's no diaper rash. None. I affix the little tabs to their proper stations and take a step back to review my handiwork. Damn, I'm good at this. "Now, for the little jammies." I pull them up; one foot and then the other. A right arm and a left arm. A little button here and another one there. "Voila, baby." I hold him up. Damn, I am good. "Come on, let's check on those tests."  
  
He settles himself in my arms and nods off a bit. Back to the bathroom. I stare at the tests, but don't read them. I'm just staring at them. I'm too afraid to comprehend what they're telling me. My God...  
  
I hear a solemn knock on my door. I jet out of the bathroom, using any excuse to get away from the truth staring into my face. I pull the door open with my free hand. It's Gina. My heart flies into my throat. Oh, God. Nariel.  
  
My knees weaken and she has to catch me and Noah before we hit the ground together. She wraps a secure arm around my front and drags me back to my bed. I fall back on it. The motion wakes Noah who begins to cry. I do the only thing I can do. I comfort him though I'm the one dying. She was my sister. I finally catch my breath and can just make Gina out through bleary eyes.  
  
"What happened?" She takes sighs a sad sigh. She doesn't want to say. Well, I don't care if she wants to say. She'd better say. "What. Happened?"  
  
"We lost her. She must have known she was being tailed because she went all over the place and managed to shake us. By the time we got to her--By the time we got there, there was nothing to be done. We looked all over, but we just weren't--We didn't get there in time." In my mind an image of my sister's broken body laying on someone's dirty mattress runs rampant. The difference between in time and too late is so slim. Moments really. Only moments.  
  
January6: My best friend's the top story. The top story. Isn't that a surprise. This never surprises me anymore. It's just the way it happened. The way she left me behind. The way she left her son. He doesn't even understand it. He doesn't even know that something's missing now, that something's gone from his life that he can't ever get back.  
  
It's all I can do not to scream at the top of my lungs. For hours, I cried in my dorm until I was whisked, Noah in tow, to the White House to see my parents. I needed my mom so badly. Daddy was there too. He stood silently in the background, holding Noah and keeping him calm. I didn't know it then, but I'd need him just as much soon. I didn't get to give the tests another look before I left. I didn't need to. I knew what they said.  
  
The police were angry that I'd left the dorm. They considered it interference by the White House. Both of my parents had to be nearly restrained. They gave the detectives a very firm tongue-lashing. I talked to their detectives. I answered their questions.  
  
Yeah, she was a drug addict. Yeah, I knew about it. Why didn't I tell someone? I told people, but who cared? I cared. Why didn't I help her? She didn't want my help. Why did I keep her son? Because, I don't doubt that had it come down to it, she'd have taken him with her. Then, they'd both be dead. Besides, I always kept him. No, I didn't mind. I love him. I loved her. She was like my sister. She was my sister.  
  
Did I see the home pregnancy tests in the bathroom? Yeah, I saw them. Were they mine? Yes. Do I know what they said? Yes, I do. Why do you care? Do I do drugs? Never touch the stuff. Why? Someone's got to be clean enough to watch out for Noah. Why not his father? You obviously have never met his father. His father's an asshole. I'm being polite. Other's have far worse things to say about him. Are you done? Good. Have a nice evening, detectives.  
  
I got up and left the sitting room. I walk back into my room and see my dad holding Noah and staring out the window. I never told him about her thing. I couldn't. I didn't want to face it myself.  
  
"Dad, I'm sorry. I just couldn't talk about her thing with anyone. I didn't want her to lose her scholarship. It was her last chance to get out, to escape the life she was living and I knew that if she lost that scholarship that she never would. This was her last year. The last one. I thought she'd be okay just until May. She almost made it." He turns around and watches me. He looks at me as someone who understands where she's been. "Since she had Noah, she'd been doing so good. The father, Mark, had basically abandoned her when she was pregnant. When she found out she was pregnant, she gave up drugs cold turkey. No gradual decline, she just stopped. She was even clean after that until Mark knocked on our door again and pulled her back into his world. She wanted so badly to give her son the life that she never got to have. But soon, all that went away and she just couldn't shake the hold drugs had on her. Oh, she loved her son, but she loved the drugs more. It's always been the drugs. One addiction for another." I fall onto the bed and bury my face in the down comforter. I want my sister back. "I want my sister back."  
  
"I know, honey." I feel the bed shift and his fingers play in my hair. My tears soak the cover. I want my sister. I want to go back to last night and tell her not go. I want to put her son in her arms and make the warmth of his small body be enough to silence the din of her demons. I want to save her, but I'm a day late and a promise short. I failed her and she failed me. Failure's a two-way street. Just like everything else. 


	8. Just Me And My Babies

Author: Regency  
Title: The Experiment  
Category: Drama/ Romance/Humor  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey...  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: None on all counts.

Warning (s): mild language, adult situations.  
Summary: Following the death of her friend, Zoey's life is changed forever by a revelation in a letter Nari left behind. And when Charlie misspeaks, he just may find that he's more like his father than he ever wanted or intended to be.  
AN: I know this is going to seem a bit out of character for Charlie, but think about it. I apologize that I don't finish the weeks anymore, but with so much action on given days, it seems superfluous. It'll all come out in the final essay. The public is starting to react to Zoey's alleged medical state.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth. I own the professors Nariel, Noah.

wwwwwww

**Just Me and My Babies**

To: 

From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov 

Subject: The Week of January 17,

And my boyfriend, Charlie is a jackass. An enormous jackass! God, how could he do this to me when I need him so much...Especially now.

**wwwwww**

**January 11: My sister died a few days ago. Not my sister, but a sister of mine. She died of a drug overdose. We had the funeral yesterday. Noah's been staying with us, because his dad, Mark's already been declared an unfit parent, at least for the time being. Nariel's parents are in no condition to care for him. As though I'm in any better position.**

**I haven't held him in two days. He's spent his time between daddy and mom. They both love having him around despite the circumstances. He's like the fourth Bartlet Baby. We all dote over him. He reminds me so much of Nariel. I'll tuck him in tonight.**

**I don't know what's going to happen to him, but the only option I can see as acceptable isn't acceptable at all. I want him. I can't have him, but I want him. I want to raise him for Nariel, to give him the life she won't be able to. I want him to feel the love she had for him. I want him to be my son.**

**I haven't told anyone that I've been feeling this way, not even Charlie. There's no way I can do this. But, at the same time, I have to. I have to grow up and I have to grow up now. There are storm clouds on the horizon. And it's hurricane season.**

**Let me tell you about yesterday...**

****

**We had Nari's funeral today. I asked Daddy to pull some strings and he did. We're having her funeral at St. Joseph's; she'll be interred Richmond Garden Cemetery in D.C. Her parents wanted her buried in Oklahoma, where she was born, but I knew that she wouldn't have wanted that. She hated Oklahoma and the life she'd led there. I won't let her be as wounded by the decisions of others in death as she had been in life. Who would have thought you could have a hard life in Oklahoma? I wouldn't have, but she did.**

**I wore a dark navy dress with pearl earrings and 2-inch heels. I think Nari would have approved given the occasion. She was all about being beautiful through hardship. I'm going to carry that with me. I will be beautiful and strong in good times and in bad. I will live on.**

**I've gained weight, all of it my own. I look about four to five months pregnant with the suit on and a few weeks pregnant without it. In the dress I wore, I guess it was more pronounced. When I walked by, people double-took. They looked and then, looked again to see if their eyes deceived them. Nope. Little Zoey Bartlet looks like she's gotten herself into trouble. Yep, assumption is a powerful tool of persuasion.**

**People were, of course, respectful in how they discussed my _condition_, seeing as I had to be going through quite the ordeal, but discuss it still, they did. They'd point out parts of my body and analyze me. Someone working in the Residence was monitoring my eating and sleeping habits. I've become everyone's favorite piece of gossip. And I'm writing it all down. These...cheap people are going to be apart of my final paper and my thesis. They're going to help me graduate. That doesn't mean I dislike them any less though. They're taking me apart and studying me in pieces, as though that's how I work--Reductionism. I don't work in pieces. I barely worked at all today.**

**I held Noah in my arms at the funeral and the interment. When her casket left St. Joseph's he cried. When they put her into the ground, he cried, but so did I. When the priest blessed her soul one final time, all that was left to do was cry. What happens now? Now, we go home.**

**wwwwww**

**CJ held a press conference for us. The press pool was as bloodthirsty as always and they had questions...about me. Like that was some totally shocking surprise. My life has become a circus.**

**"CJ! CJ!" She put her hand up to try and impose some order to the room. It was a futile effort, as the throng only seemed to get louder. Finally, CJ had had enough.**

**"All right, everybody can it! Or nobody gets their questions answered and nobody meets their deadline." That shut the whole pressroom up. Everybody had a deadline to meet. CJ'd never lost her temperature like this on-air before. This was going to be somebody's sidebar. "Now, one at a time. You get one well thought out question and then, you're done for this one. One question. Make it count. Kelsey, go." The reporter, feeling the pressure, took a breath.**

**"CJ, can you confirm reports that Zoey Bartlet is in _the family way_?" Everyone stopped to see what CJ would do, or say. They also stopped to wonder if she'd really just said '_in the fanily way.' _Someone was living in a different decade. CJ finally spoke.**

**"Okay, first off, we're living in a new era, Kels. You're allowed to say _pregnant _on television now. And to your question: no, I cannot confirm reports that Zoey Bartlet is pregnant. She does not share that kind of information with me and even if she did, I would not be sharing it with you all. Next question." Hands shot up all over. CJ inspected them all quickly before picking a long time favorite. "Katie, go."**

**"CJ, can you confirm rumors that Zoey Bartlet is actually considering caring for her roommate's son permanently and adopting him?" CJ looked over her notes. I hadn't told her I'd been thinking about that. I hadn't told anyone. How'd they know?**

**"No, I cannot confirm this. I haven't talked to Zoey for a few days. I don't know what she's thinking right now. I do not know her state-of-mind. I do know that she's gone through a trauma and is trying her best to deal with it. I can say that the little boy is currently staying in the Residence with the First Fanily. I do _not_ know what the long-term plans are for him. Okay, two more questions. Danny." The redhead seemed surprised at actually being called. Things had been a little messy between he and CJ for awhile. "Danny, go."**

**"There are multiple reports stating that nearly a dozen used pregnancy tests were found in Zoey's dorm room. These same reports have stated that every one of them was positive. Can you confirm that?" CJ knew how close she was to being caught up in a lie of her own making.**

**"No. I wasn't in the dorm room. I only know that there were in fact home pregnancy tests there. I have that straight from Zoey."**

**"So, there is a chance that she might be pregnant?" CJ glared at him for flying in the face of her rule.**

**"There's a chance that I might be pregnant, too, but there aren't any cops in my bathroom so that's between me and the little cotton applicator. And no, we aren't talking about me. The White House does not discuss the personal lives of its Senior Staff. Period. Now, you can all thank Danny, because he just used up your last question." Everyone groaned and threw balled-up paper at his red-beacon of a head. "That's a full lid everybody. See you in the morning." She stepped down and left the room.**

wwwwww

****

That was yesterday and it's catching. Now, everyone's questioning my virtue, what there is of it. I think the cat's out of the bag now...

I'm pregnant. I just haven't told Charlie yet. Or mom, though I think that Dad's pretty wise to it by now. Me, I'm just going to stick with denial a little bit longer. At least, until after I puke. Excuse me, I'm going to go throw up now...Damned morning, noon, and night sickness. You never know when it'll hit you.

wwwwwww

**January 12: I walk down to the West Wing with my arms wrapped around my ever-growing self. I'm getting bigger everyday. It feels like it anyway. I have to tell Charlie. I don't know what to do. He'll know what to do.**

**I peak into the Outer Office. Charlie's sitting at his desk, working on something. Maybe I shouldn't interrupt; I could come back. Yeah, I'll come back. It'll be easier...later. I think it will. Everything will be easier in the morning. _Right?_**

**January 13: I put off telling Charlie for another day. I don't know why, but I'm getting a bad feeling about this. Like I don't already feel bad enough. Oh, and it turns out that Nariel didn't do everything completely without thought. Apparently, she left me a letter among Noah's things. In case I didn't find it, she left a copy with her family's lawyer. Here's what it said:**

**Dear Zoey, my sister and twin spirit,**

**I know that if you're reading this I'm gone and that I've died some sad and probably lonely death. If that is the case, then know this: I wanted to die, Zoey. You've tried to save me a thousand times and you haven't failed me, I've failed me. And I've failed Noah. And you. You have been a hundred more times a mother to him than me. I see you with him and know that he will be better off in your care than mine. My death wasn't just a quirk of fate, some tragedy of circumstance. I knew what would happen. You have to understand me, Zoey. I wanted to be free. But I wanted to take you with me too. I never go anywhere without you, except for where I went tonight. I didn't want you to get hurt or into trouble and I wanted my son to have more. You can give him so much more. For the first time in my life, I'm thinking of someone else. That's why I remand him to your care. Take care of my baby, Zoey. And take care of yourself. You have such a life ahead of you (especially with Charlie).**

**Loving you so much, sister of yours (by different parents),**

**Nariel Riley-Burke**

**That managed to put a damper on my day, but at the same time it gave me some closure. These were her final words to me and they were pretty good. She was always beyond me. I thought I'd failed to save her, but maybe by loving Noah, I'm doing what I was trying to do all along: Give her peace.**

**January 14: I told Charlie today. It didn't go as well as I'd hoped. Charlie's supposed to be different, you know? He's supposed to love me completely. Whatever happened to the great guy he was? I thought he'd be happy or at least too dazed to make up his mind. He wasn't dazed or happy; he was in denial...**

**I walk up to him, cautiously. I'm feeling sicker than usual and I've decided that it's time for Charlie to know what's going on. He's working again. I could come back--No, I have to tell him now or it could be months before I do. I'm sure he'd figure it out along the way, but I know he'd appreciate hearing it from me a lot sooner. Like now.**

**"Hey, Charlie." He looks up at me and smiles.**

**"Hey. What's up? You look kind of pale." I touch my face self-consciously and feel the slight clamminess of my skin. Wonderful, I look as good as I feel. Like crap.**

**"It's nothing, I'm just, you know...Look are you busy, right now?" He looks at his watch and then, at the door to my father's office.**

**"Nah, I got some time for you. What's up?" I tilt my head towards the doors to the portico and we go out. We walk down the sidewalk together silently. I'm scared of what he'll say. "Zoey, what is it? What's wrong?" I turn to him, looking over his shoulder at the agents standing a respectful distance away. I wonder if they can hear us. He takes my chin and forces me to look into his eyes. "Zoey, talk to me."**

**"I'm pregnant." His hand falls away from my face and he just looks at me like an alien. I step away from him and turn around. His silence chills me. I tighten my sweater around me. I just realized how cold it is. He still hasn't spoken. I turn back to him. He rubs his head and blinks.**

**"What?" That's all he can say and it isn't making me feel any better . "I mean, you're, you know..." He points at my stomach like it's something strange and abnormal. I nod. "Wow. I don't know what to say." I step toward him, but stop when he speaks again. "Is it mine?" I give my head a shake and hope that he didn't just say what I'm sure he just said.**

**"Excuse me, Charles Young. Did you dare ask me what you just asked me?" He puts his hands up and shrugs.**

**"I don't know what to think, Zoey. I know that there's no way, no way it could be mine. I mean, we were careful. It has to be somebody else's. I know you said, you were faithful, but things happen sometimes." My vision is hazy and I stumble away from him. That's not the Charlie I know. That's not the Charlie I love, not the one that loves me. Now, I don't think he even loves me at all. He wouldn't ask me that if he had.**

**"How could you even say that to me? After all these years, you--you have the nerve to say...that I haven't been faithful, haven't been true. I was terrified of coming to you today, Charlie, terrified. I put it off for days. I was so afraid that you wouldn't be happy, but I never in my wildest dreams suspected that you'd accuse me of infidelity and lying. I can't believe you, Charlie. I can't believe you at all." I turn away, but a surge of anger goes through me and I turn back to him. Before I can stop myself, my fist connects with his jaw and he staggers away from me. "I don't need you or your accusations. I can and I will take care of this baby without you. I thought you were different, Charlie, but you're no better than the man you came from. You're just like your father."**

**"You don't know anything about my father."**

**"I know that I'm glad that I found out what a coward you were before I had anymore children with you. Well, you get your wish, Charlie. Consider yourself freed of all obligation to me or to this baby. And just for the record, Charlie, you're the only one I've ever been with. You're the only one I've ever shared myself with. I gave you something special, something precious and this is what you give me in return. I'm gonna have the most beautiful baby in the world and you're gonna be so sorry. I know I would be." I twist away and stalk through the portico doors back into the Outer Office. I'm shaking with rage and a ball of iron is choking me. _How could he say that?_**

**Suddenly, I'm so afraid of what's coming. I look back out onto the portico and see Charlie still holding his jaw, looking out over the distance. _He's not even gonna come after me._ Fine, I can do this without that bastard. It's game time, Zoey. This is just the warm-up.**

**_So, why do I feel so afraid? _I run out of the Outer Office as fast as I can, passing staffers left and right. As I sprint into the Residence almost completely out of breath, I think to myself, _This is gonna be on somebody's front page. _As I feel myself losing consciousness I amend the thought, _Make that everybody's front page, above the fold._**

**January 15: I woke up about 7 o'clock this morning, my parents a familiar sight beside me. Dad has a pinched look on his face and mom is still asleep, I think. Though, she's fooled us before.**

**"You're awake." I smile and nod a little. I still feel a little woozy.**

**"What happened to me?"**

**"What's the last thing you remember?" I think back and my eyes start to tear up, but I blink them away. I will not cry another tear for Charles Young. He will cry for me.**

**"I remember running and getting into the elevator. I think I passed out." I rub a sore spot on my head with a wince. "I think I hit my head, too." He sits up, adjusting mom in his arms. She stirs a little, but continues to sleep.**

**"Yeah, you did quite a number on yourself, honey. And Charlie, too. His jaw is pretty banged up." I shrug and try not to feel too satisfied with myself. He deserved it; ignorant bastard. "Why'd you hit him?" I still don't answer. "You don't have to tell me, but it's all over the news and I'm bound to find out about it, either way. You can tell me the truth or I can read the New York Times and hear the truth as they think they know it. Your choice." Not much of one, if I do say so myself. And I do.**

**"I'm pregnant, Daddy. I'm going to have a baby." He completely freezes and stares at me as though there's some sign there. I'm getting a strong sense of déjà vu. I find myself laughing--laughing hard enough to rouse mom, who almost falls off the lounge chair. Dad just catches her. She rubs her eyes and blinks at me.**

**"Zoey, honey, are you all right?" I just keep laughing. She looks at daddy with a concerned expression. She doesn't realize how beautiful she looks when she's concerned. I want to be that beautiful. "Jed, is she okay?"**

**"I don't think so." I finally calm down and cuddle back down under the covers, watching them. This is what I wanted for my baby, what I expected them to have, but I guess not. Besides, maybe there's a guy out there for me. Blended families aren't all bad. It'll just be me, the baby, and Noah for now. We don't need Charlie; we have our family right here. They look at me before sharing another look; their silent communication. I want that harmony, that synchrony. I wanted me and Charlie to be that. I want to be that beautiful.**

**I cover my head with the covers and curl up into a miserable ball, because if wishes were horses, then beggars would ride. I'm not a beggar, so I guess I've been bucked.**

**I've never hated myself for having so much.**

**January 16: I've decided that it's time to get back to school. I'm taking Noah with me. I've packed and said my goodbyes. I don't want people waving as I leave. I just want to go back to my life. My life without Charlie. I'll get used to that eventually...or not.**

**I didn't say goodbye to him. He's had nearly three days to apologize and he hasn't. I'm so out of here.**

**January 17: I went to the doctor today. I shall say it was an experience within an ordeal. A moment of joy in suffering. The doctor did an ultrasound today. I'm about three months pregnant, so the baby was conceived in November, right around the time that I made a flight-by-night trip for Thanksgiving to see my parents and Charlie in D.C. before finals were to start.**

**Our baby has a heartbeat, but no father. Now, I'm pissed and tempted to call Charlie to give him a piece of my mind, but I'll spare him this. I'm having mood swings. This is mine and I'll keep it that way. I found out my approximate due date too. It's July 25. I'm freaking out that there's an actual person inside me and they're depending on me. That's put a lot of things into perspective. I have to take care of myself. And my babies.**

**Noah and I take our naps together and I rest him on my stomach. He's so small in my arms. He sleeps through most of the night, so I sleep pretty well. Sometimes, I'm sure I feel a kick inside of me, but there's no way. It's too soon, isn't it? Six months until the baby gets her and four months until graduation. I don't know if I'll be able to finish the experiment without tainting it. Scratch that, it's already tainted.**

**This has been the longest day and the ones that follow are sure to get longer. My back is starting to hurt and my breasts feel a bit tender and Noah's rooting. I swear that if he finds something, I'll be officially freaked. Wait, I'm already freaked. This can't be my life. Uh oh, I'm going postal. _Deep breath, Zoey. Deep breath._ Okay, I'm back under control. For the moment.**

**I need to get some sleep, I'm going to have tomorrow off, so I can rest then, but I'm tired now. And Noah's down, so the time is ripe. Oh, God, big pun unintended.**

**I lay down with Noah nestled against me on my bare stomach. My babies and me against the world. They may choose to judge me, but I choose to simply live. Besides, I have a family to raise. It's just me and my babies. I don't really need anyone else.**

**Well, not too much anyway.**


	9. Miles To Go Before I Sleep

Author: Regency  
Title: The Experiment  
Category: Drama/ Romance/Humor  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: None on all counts.

Warning (s): mild language, adult situations.  
Summary: Following the death of her friend, Zoey's life is changed forever by a revelation in a letter Nari left behind. And when Charlie misspeaks, he just may find that he's more like his father than he ever wanted or intended to be.  
AN: This has been quite the journey but come the next three or so chapters, it comes to the end. I hope it doesn't seem rushed.

And please let us acknowledge the fact that I am not a doctor. Anything I give you medically has been researched to the best of my ability and told with the best of my understanding.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone in this story, so far. But if I do come into ownership of any of the characters you can be sure that I'll spread the wealth. I own the professors, Nariel, and Noah.

_xxxxxxxxx_

**Miles To Go Before I Sleep**

To: 

From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov

Subject: January 24,

Idon't have a lot of time right now. I have a few minutes before Noah's due for his bath and his lunch, then his nap and I have to study, take my vitamins, then find time to eat and sleep myself. And I have a doctor's appointment, another one. This is a follow-up to something I learned at the doctor a few days ago. The doctor was packed, but he's a family friend and he made room for me. Good thing, too. I have a feeling that he and I are going to be seeing a lot more of one another over the next few months.

**January 17: I made myself another doctor's appointment today. I dodged the press on the phone, at my door, and in public. The thing about my visit was that…everything about my pregnancy doesn't seem all right.**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**I lie on the medical table and try in vain to adjust this damned paper gown around me. This is several kinds of futile. Eventually, I just stop. It's not worth it. He's going to see most of it in a few minutes anyway.**

**With the nurse's help, I place my feet into the stirrups, which I hate. This is not a comfortable position. The door opens and I instinctively pull my knees together. Yeah, like that's gonna help. He's looking at my chart and peeking at me over the top intermittently. Yeah, real cute. He finally puts down the clipboard.**

**"Hello, Zoey." I attempt a smile for him and I think I just make it. "How are we and the littlest Bartlet doing today?" I smile. Yay! _Not._ We are fine, as far as I am concerned. I shift around a little. I've never have liked the doctor. Not just this one, but any doctor (with the exceptions of Mom and Ellie).**

**Oh, God, he's about to start looking at stuff. He lifts up the paper sheet covering my legs. I redirect my eyes. This is somewhere between bizarre and humiliating…Nope, it's just humiliating. I'm starting to think that this was a bad idea. Yeah, I know this was a bad idea.**

**I jump a little as he starts the check-up. This is where I start thinking up baby names…I'm thinking Gabriel, Daniel, Michael…Jed, maybe, Abbot for a boy. I like Abbot, after mom of course. I like Jed, too. But man, both of those come with some legacy. And for a girl…Erica, Abbey, Sarah? No to Sarah, too overdone. Gina? Nice. Hmmm, what else? Mary, too general. Nicole, no. Ann, over my dead body. Besides, we already have one of those. More than one is redundant. Leigh, maybe.**

**Suddenly I realize that this part of the exam is over and the doc looks less than happy…With good reason, too. So much for baby names.**

**January 18: I went home after that and put Noah to bed before crawling onto my bed and curling into a miserable ball. I had things to think about. He told me that I had symptoms of the gestational complication, Placenta Previa. He, of course, said that he wasn't certain as not to alarm me. But take my word for it, the harm had already been done.**

**He advised me not to worry and told me that we'd simply have to monitor the situation as my pregnancy progressed. "It shouldn't be a problem," he says. Lots of people say that. It's a problem. I just don't know whether that's woman's intuition talking or the living fears of young pregnant girl with everything to lose.**

**I don't know.**

**January 19: I spent today worrying. My doctor and I shared a phone call. He, again, tried unsuccessfully to reassure me. It did not work. Some time later, the subject of my complication came up again. He said that unless it corrected itself that I might find myself on bed rest until the end of my pregnancy and that he would give instructions that I should either be induced or have a Caesarian-Section. As I think I've implied before, my pregnancy isn't going as smoothly as I'd like. **

**I want so badly to end this experiment and to go and crawl into my mother's arms. There are answers that she has that I need and I can't get them, because that would without a doubt compromise my research. It's just three more months until I graduate…I would be able to maybe hide this if I wasn't approximately the size of a modest house. If this is me at three months, what hope do I have of concealing this at six? Yes, that's right, no hope. No hope at all.**

**And to top it all off, Noah is cutting his first teeth. He's so fussy now and there's really nothing short of giving him his teething ring that I can do. Somehow, I manage to keep from being angry or irritated with him, because he can't help how he feels, but at times, I just wanna lay down beside him and cry too. But there's no one here to take care of me or I him, if I sit this one out. I just imagine that in about twenty years, I'll get a break. That makes me want to cry, because I have one child. Just one and I'm exhausted, not to mention pregnant. I don't have any help and soon they'll be twice as many children to care for and still only one me.**

**It's moments like this when I feel at my most hopeless that I hate Charlie for leaving me, for being a coward, and for being weak. And I hate myself for loving him nonetheless. I'm carrying his child, going through complications with his child, and am going to have to raise his child plus another one alone. Now, I realize that they may be better off, anyway. I'm not sure I'd want a coward influencing my children. **

**I'll just have to be enough; God, I hope I'm enough.**

**My children will be loved and they will know it. They have grandparents, aunts, play-aunts and play-uncles, and cousins that will and do love them. I just have to hold out for a few more months. Just a few more. I love my little family already. We will be all right without Charlie. I just hope that he'll be all right without us.**

**January 20: I'm over my melancholy for the moment. I know it will be back at some point, but I woke up feeling amazing. I was in the shower today and I noticed something different, really different. I knew I'd been gaining weight, but this is actual shape. A certain rotund quality has come to my belly and I saw later to my face. Yeah, I feel a little self-conscious, but at the same time, I feel like I'm actually 'blooming.' I am 'blooming.' It's exhilarating to watch my son as he tries in vain to turn onto his tummy while rubbing the ever-protruding bump under my shirt**

**I'm someone's mother. I'm two someones' mother. I can't help but, wonder about the little life growing so tenuously at the center of me. The complications haven't left my head and I worry. I was scared at first. No, actually, I was terrified. I was pregnant and in college with a boyfriend who I wasn't sure would (and didn't) stand by me. Not to mention, my father is the President of the United States. I could've dealt with that if only that last thing weren't so, but these people haven't left me alone. They add to the stress of an already strenuous pregnancy. I want this baby now, there is no doubt about that. And my father is definitely excited. I'm sure that my mother _would_ be if she knew with any kind of certainty. I would love for her to know, but it simply can't be helped for the moment, therefore, there's no more sense in thinking about it.**

**January 21: I took Noah to the park today. I won't be making that a large habit again. I just wanted to be outside and study and rest, but as soon as we settled down on the grass, we were overcome by press and for a second I lost Noah. I also slipped and fell, which hurt like serious hell. I was hysterical because I was hurting and my son was missing. I started freaking out completely until some agent placed and squalling Noah in my arms and herded me towards my car at breakneck pace. I think I lost a few of my textbooks. It's not like I needed them anyway. They were only all I had to study with.**

**It's okay, though. I just had my agents replace them. They did however show up on Ebay this evening. Somebody bought them for two hundred dollars. There are stupid people in the world and I'm pretty sure I know some of them.**

**I have to go back to the doctor tomorrow, because when I fell I fell on my stomach and something I landed on left an ugly bruise on me. It may be absolutely nothing, but I just want to be sure. Complications, complications…**

**And no, that's not a joke.**

**January 22: I cross my legs for what has to be the fourth time as I wait for my doctor to show up. I cannot comment enough on the discomfort of these paper gowns. My ass will be stuck to this bed. I hate doctors' offices.**

**It's bad enough that he has to be all in the baby-making organs. But I have to wait for him in a paper gown. That's what I call two-parts embarrassing, one part _Mom!_**

**I rub the baby a little to give my little one their daily dose of attention. I wonder where the head is right now. Or the feet. Maybe I'll find out today.**

_xxxxxxxxx_

**I stare at the grainy black and green picture of my baby in a new kind of awe. He was checking out fetal development and asked if I wanted to get an early picture. I was game. And here we are with this little picture of my child. It's too early to determine a gender, but I know it'll be a girl. I just know.**

**Fetal development is fine, but we seem to be piling on the complications. I'm currently being monitored for Placenta Previa, Preeclampsia, hypertension, and gestational diabetes. All of which has led me to the conclusion that I won't be having anymore children anytime soon. Definitely not.**

**But as I look at this picture and can hear my son waking up from his nap (what I call the time he sleeps from 6 p.m. to 9), I know that she will be worth it. I stare at the ceiling for a few more seconds before rolling off the bed to tend to my son's needs.**

**I take the sonogram with me so that I can introduce Noah to his baby sister. He's gonna have to get used to not being the only baby in the house anymore.**

**Yeah, it's gonna be the teething thing all over again.**

**January 23: Mom took me to lunch today. Daddy had Noah. I heard they took a trip to the Sit Room. Anyway, Mom spent the whole lunch giving me the third-degree about my health. Apparently, my many doctor visits had gotten back to her. Not surprising.**

**I, of course, could tell her nothing and did tell her nothing. I told her to give me a while. I'm going to have to tell her before I tell everybody, right? Yeah, I thought so.**

**My father agrees. He hasn't pressured me about it, but he is concerned about our relationship after all this. Me, too. So, today I gave her a little hint…**

_xxxxxxxxx_

**"Mom, are you in the mood for more grandchildren?" My mother's raised eyebrows make me snort my vanilla-strawberry shake.**

**"What?"**

**"How about a granddaughter? Would that be good?"**

**"What?"**

**"Yeah, I think you could use another granddaughter." Mom blinks and holds up a hand to keep me from continuing.**

**"What are you saying?" She leans in close to me and lowers her voice. "Zoey, are you pregnant?" I lean back and paste a shocked look on my face.**

**"Me? Where would you get an idea like that?"**

**"The signs, Zoey. They're all there. Why won't you tell me?"**

**"Because, I can't yet." I rest my hand on top of hers. "But you can shop for me and hound Daddy to death if you want. I can't tell you, but he can." She gives me a skeptical look.**

**"Can he, now?" I nod. "Well, I shall do so." She looks both ways before asking. "So, a granddaughter?" I shrug coyly.**

**"Granddaughter, what granddaughter? Who's pregnant?"**

**"I have no idea."**

**"I bet you don't." We share a smile. I see the concern in my mother's eyes and I understand that she just wants to be here for me during this. I appreciate it, but for now, I'm gonna keep on going it alone until I can't anymore. It gives me strength enough just knowing that she's with me. Because I've got miles to go before I sleep and I'm going to need all the help that I can get to see this through.**

**And _just _in case He's listening…**

**A miracle couldn't hurt.**


	10. This Can't Be The End

Author: Regency  
Title: The Experiment  
Category: Drama/ Romance/Humor  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
Season/ spoilers/ sequel: None on all counts.

Warning (s): mild language, adult situations.  
Summary-Zoey's graduation is literally a month away now and Zoey's six months pregnant. Charlie's still trying to make up for all the time he's missed being stupid. But don't think that Zoey's gonna make it easy on him. Is he going to be able to prove to her that he can be the father their baby's going to need?  
AN: Yes, I've skipped like three months, but I want to move this along. This has been quite the journey but come the next three or so chapters, it comes to an end. I hope you've enjoyed the journey as much as me. I know I just changed Zoey's due date, but I realized that my math was off.

Disclaimer: I own the professors, Nariel, and Noah.

**_ZoeyZoeyZoey_**

**This Can't Be The End**

To: 

From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov 

Subject: April 24,

**I can't believe I've made it this far. It's almost over; one more month and I can reveal to the world that this has been a monumentally life-changing hoax. They're going to love this. I know I will. I need to be able to gush and burst with happiness. I'm really lucky, I realize that now. I've got a beautiful son, left to me by a friend I was blessed to have. I'm pregnant with my beautiful baby girl due in just a few months. Yes, I've gone through some trying times recently, but for them I can make it. For them, I can be strong enough. I can and will endure anything.**

**Soon, it will be over and everything will be all right. I'm sure of it. I mean, how can anything else go wrong at this point?**

**_CharlieCharlieCharlie_**

To: 

From: FightingForEverythingWhiteHouse.gov

Subject: The Week of April 24-

You're probably concerned about why you haven't heard more from Zoey or you may already know the reason. Either way, I know this project is important to her graduation and I don't want her losing any points for missing a check-in date. She's a little preoccupied right now.

I just thought you should know what was up. It happened this week, as a matter of fact. She was at the graduation for rehearsal. I've seen how excited she's been lately, with the baby (and Noah beginning to crawl) and her graduation coming up. She's been cheerful and unbelievably happy for someone six months pregnant. She's been beautiful.

Anyway, she was at her rehearsal and that's where things started to go wrong…

**_wwwwwww_**

**April 20: I was watching her during my lunch break from the back of the imaginary audience. She was prancing around in her cap and gown with some friends, pretending to give her valedictorian speech. I didn't know that she'd made valedictorian, not that that's something she would have told me. We weren't really on speaking terms at the time. I don't think she would have been happy to see me. There were times, then that I wasn't even happy to see me.**

**So, she was laughing with Kisten, one of her friends and they were all posing like supermodels. They were having the best time.**

**Zoey went to stand behind the podium and pretended to make her speech. Her classmates rose in mock ovation and she bowed-Well, as close to bowing as she'd done in a while. She lost her balance and grasped the podium to steady herself. She was lucky that time, but the second time…Not so much.**

**She'd taken one step too far away and missed the podium when she reached behind her. She hit the stage like a ton and half of bricks.**

**_ZoeyZoeyZoey_**

**I'm moving, but I can't feel the ground beneath me. It takes some work, but I can finally open my eyes. I see lots of agents. Maybe more than usual, maybe less. It's hard to tell. I know that there's a mask on my face, helping me breathe. I really don't remember what's happened. I just know that I was standing and then, I was falling. There was pain and then, nothing.**

**I lift my head up a little to try to look around me. I think I see Charlie running by my legs, but that could be wrong, since I can't actually see my legs. I feel someone take my hand and that's when I know it's him. I know his hands. One of them rests on my belly, which to my surprise is quiet. I know my daughter and if she's anything, active is it. She should be doing something right now, but nothing. I try to raise my hand to touch her, but I'm a little freaked out when I realize that I can't move. Not even a little bit. Now, I can't even raise my head. I shouldn't be feeling like this.**

**My eyes drift against my will and darkness starts to creep in at the edges of my vision. My father's claustrophobia starts to choke me and I gasp because there's suddenly nowhere near enough oxygen in my world. I try to calm myself for the baby's sake, but I can't because I'm more afraid than ever that I've already hurt her.**

**I let out an involuntary groan as a cramp slams through my body. It doesn't take a genius to know that this isn't good. I shudder after my body arches off the stretcher and my mask muffles a scream.**

**"It's okay, Zoey. It's okay." I feel Charlie rubbing my stomach in a way that I suppose he thinks is soothing. It's really not. She isn't moving.**

**"No! No." I can't think of anything else to say to God. I don't want him to take my baby. I can't say anything else. I can't even breathe. "No." There are tears on my cheeks and I hiccup. "Mom," I whisper. I need her more than ever.**

**Another cramp overcomes me and I subconsciously curl around my stomach as though to keep my baby in. I know she's not ready yet. Not even close.**

**_CharlieCharlieCharlie_**

**It breaks my heart to see the tears on her face and the fear in her eyes, knowing that I put it there. If I'd only been strong enough to stand up to my responsibilities, she wouldn't be having these complications. She'd be having a healthy baby four months from now and we might even be married. That's what should've happened. I should've stood up. I might even have kept the respect of her mother had I been stronger.**

**It's safe to say that Mrs. Bartlet is no longer fond of me. She's just a short of disgusted and a just a breath beyond cordial. If it weren't for appearances' sake, she wouldn't be that. Besides, Zoey asked her to be nice. And well, she is some form of it. I'm just happy that she hasn't maimed me yet. I know, though, that if something happens to Zoey or the baby that she will own my ass. And she might have the President's help.**

**God knows I'll deserve it.**

**_wwwwwww_**

**By the time we arrive at the hospital, Zoey's been unconscious for nearly fifteen minutes. The EMT says that she's started to go into pre-term labor and that the baby seems to be in distress. God, I'm scared out of my mind. The woman I love and our child are in jeopardy. And it's all my fault.**

**I'm held back when they take her into the OR. Medical terminology is going over my head left and right. All I know was that they're going to try their damnedest not to have to deliver the baby today. They're adamant that it's too early. Six months is just too soon. Zoey told me that she wasn't due until July 25. It's only April 20.**

**Her parents burst through the doors in a panic. I'm their first target. I swear to God, I've never been more ungrateful for being like the _only_ black guy in DC. Damn. I know Abbey is seeing red, but the President puts a restraining hand on her shoulder. He steps forward.**

**"Charlie, what happened?" I know they both think that this involves me and I guess, it does.**

**"Zoey was at her rehearsal. You know, her graduation rehearsal, and she was practicing her speech on stage. I wasn't up there with her, but I think she got dizzy. First, she managed to catch herself on the podium, but the second time she'd walked too far away and couldn't reach it in time. She collapsed."**

**"Has the doctor said anything?"**

**"I haven't talked to the doctor, but the EMT said that she had gone into pre-term labor and that the baby was in distress. They also said that they'd do everything in their power to make sure that they didn't have to deliver the baby today. Six months is too early." The First Lady grasps her husband's sleeve.**

**"Yes, it's definitely too early. God, I wish Zoey had come to me if she was having problems. She wouldn't even tell me she was pregnant. I don't understand why she wouldn't tell me. She told her father." The President looks at the floor and shrugs helplessly. "You know why. She's told you what's going on. You've been covering for her since before Christmas. What is going on?" He still doesn't speak. She turns to me. "Charlie, do you know about this? What is going on with my daughter?" I don't want to sell Zoey out, but I think the cat is out of the bag at this point.**

**"She's doing an experiment to get her last two college credits, Psychology and Political Science. At first, she was pretending to be pregnant to see how the public was going to react and to observe it's influence on the Bartlet administration but then she realized that she was actually pregnant."**

**"Things went downhill from there, I take it?"**

**"Yes, ma'am. In a big way."**

**"Why did you abandon my little girl, Charlie? Why? She loved you, but you let her go." I sit down, still focused on the ER doors.**

**"I was scared. I mean, what do I have, as far as anything, to give a child. No offense, working at the White House is a great honor, but it doesn't pay too much. What do I know, but the hood and bangers? What could I ever teach a child?" The President sits down next to me and assumes my stance.**

**"Well, you do know the mayor of Washington DC. You've met many a congressman. You've met foreign dignitaries and royalty. You've walked in on me and the Mrs. Barbecuing. You've got all these experiences here. These are all things that you can share. Not so much the one about barbecuing, but there are others too." I chuckle but concede to his logic as most do.**

**The First Lady comes to sit on my other side and rests a hand on my back. "You can share them with Zoey too."**

**"I want to. I've always wanted to."**

**"But?"**

**"But when I was faced with suddenly being fully in charge of another's life…I got scared. I wasn't just in charge of one life, but two. Zoey's and our child's. I was afraid that I'd let both of 'em down."**

**"So you left to avoid letting her down?" I nod.**

**"I totally defeated the purpose."**

**"Yeah."**

**"I do love her. There's nothing I want more than to be her husband and to be with her and our child, and Noah. I was just so scared."**

**"I understand being that afraid, son. Someone's depending on you, but take my word for it, the moment you hear that little heartbeat you're stuck like glue. It all comes from there, Charlie. From that first moment…when you realize that this is very real. All you care about is keeping that little person and the woman carrying it safe. You know you'd die to that end. It doesn't happen over time, but in this dizzying cataclysm that knocks you off your feet. It's scary, son, but twenty-four years later, you'll be glad you did it." I nod, but my heart is beating fast at the very notion that I may not get the chance to experience that. A living, beating heart. My baby's heart. I hate myself today.**

**"I messed up so big."**

**"Yep."**

**"I should've…"**

**"Stop yourself, Charlie. Don't put this on you, otherwise, the rest of us will, too. If this little girl is meant to live, she will. After all, she is a Bartlet."**

**"She's a Barrington."**

**"Bartlet."**

**"Barrington, jackass." I look between them as they argue over my head. This is what I've always wanted in a family. Parents who bantered, but loved each other unconditionally. That's them. In thirty years, I want this to be Zoey and me, though hopefully under better circumstances.**

**"Your last name's Bartlet."**

**"My blood is Barrington and so is a fourth of that little girl's." I perk up at the second reference to the baby's sex.**

**"It's a girl?"**

**"That's what I think Zoey was trying to tell me." She looks to the President. "A girl, right?"**

**"What makes you think-" She looks at him with narrowed eyes. "Yeah, it's a girl. Jeez."**

**"Wow. I'm gonna have a daughter." I lean back tiredly. "Damn, I'm gonna be knocking them off with a stick." He just pats me on the back sympathetically.**

**"Man, do I feel you. I had three. At least, you have one boy. He'll beat 'em up."**

**"If she comes out anywhere near as gorgeous as Zoey, there's no amount of ammo that'll keep them away." Both of her parents chuckle on each side of me.**

**"It's okay, Charlie. Our girl's got a good head on her shoulder. The little one will, too. Just you wait." None of us want to add_, only if she survives_. My daughter has to live, right? Because that would equal the ultimate injustice.**

**And there's already too little justice in this world.**

**_wwwwwwww_**

Zoey was in surgery for three hours before Dr. Nielson came out to speak to us. He wasn't done yet, but apparently something was about to happen that we had to be consulted on. I was floored.

**_wwwwwww_**

**"Mr. President, Dr. Bartlet, Mr. Young." We all nod, though I have no idea how he knows my name. The Bartlet's cling to one another instinctively.**

**"What's happening with our daughter, Dr.?" He lowers his mask and takes a deep breath. I know that deep breath.**

**"Ma'am, sir…I hate to have to bring this to you, but Zoey is experiencing severe complications. Her blood pressure is fluctuating dangerously, she's not responding to any drugs, and she's hemorrhaging badly. We are going to have to deliver this baby today. Caesarian or vaginal, it is going to be life-threatening for both. So, before we do this, I need to know who you are prepared to sacrifice should it come to that. Zoey, or the baby." I can't believe what he's saying. I can't control my reaction as I fall to my knees. They're all around me**

**"Zoey or the baby," I whisper to myself. The love of my life or our child. Oh, God, what have I done?**

**"Charlie, sweetheart, you need to be strong, okay? Be strong." I close my eyes against this nightmare. Abbey lets me go and retreats to stand by her husband who's been left to make this decision alone.**

**"Our daughter, Abbey. How am I supposed to chose who lives and who dies? I can't choose between our baby and our baby's baby. Help me." She wraps her arms around him and squeezes him with all her might. She can't help him decide, because her instincts as a mother are at war with her instincts as a grandmother. Zoey would never forgive them for letting her daughter die.**

**"Do what you think is best, babe. I love you and will stand by whatever decision you make. Okay? We're in this together."**

**"We're in this together," he says to himself. He never thought it'd go this far.**

**The doctor, who's been waiting patiently to the side steps forward. "Sir, ma'am. I need to know." The President looks at me.**

**"Charlie?" I shake my head vehemently in denial.**

**"I can't."**

**"This is your baby, Charlie. You can decide."**

**"She would want you to do it. You know her best. Both of you. I can't choose, sir. Please don't ask me to." He nods and accepts the responsibility that he doesn't want anymore than I do. He squeezes Abbey's hand for strength and makes his decision.**

**"Do what you can, Dr. If you can't save them both…just do what you can. Please. They belong together." The man, also a father and grandfather, understands completely and leaves to make the most famous decision of his career.**

**I pray that this isn't the end of a dream that hasn't even come true yet.**

**_wwwwwww_**

I'm too frazzled even now to remember what went through my mind after this, but her father can't forget.

**_JedJedJed_**

**Hours pass before we hear anything else. The press has been kept at bay. Leo's come and gone, staying only long enough to say a few words that I didn't hear. Zoey, my precious Zoey. My baby girl. I want to say that I'm sure I've chosen well, but I'm not. Abbey hasn't left my side since the doctor went back to the OR, but she hasn't said anything either.**

**She just rests her head against my shoulder and rubs my hand between hers distractedly. I've doomed both my daughter and my granddaughter. How can I ever forgive myself for that? How can my family?**

**"I'm so sorry, Abigail. I'm so sorry." She looks up at me and tenderly strokes my cheek.**

**"Don't be sorry. You did what she would have wanted. You did what I would've done. It's in God's hands now. If they're meant to live, baby, they'll live. You did what any father would've done. Never apologize for loving your family. Never." She leans up and kisses me firmly, using her thumb to wipe away the subsequent lipstick mark. "Don't ever change. This was not your fault. It was meant to be."**

**"I guess." How can I ever be sure?**

**"Don't guess. Know." I nod despite my misgivings. It's in God's hands now.**

**God be with my children now…**

**And God be with me.**

**_wwwwwww_**

All I could do after that was watch those doors that held the future of my family. Whatever happened there was the difference between three daughter and two; the difference between a new life and a tragedy.

All I had to hold onto was Abbey and all she had was me. Thank God she was watching…

**_AbbeyAbbeyAbbey_**

**I kiss Jed's knuckles comfortingly and tangle my fingers with his. I can feel his distress as well as my own. This is an ordeal that will change our lives forever. My anguish is doubled as a doctor so used to doing good and giving comfort. I ache to be there with her now. I wish I could heal my child, as I have a healed a thousand others. I'm afraid that I'll never get her back.**

**There's so much I haven't taught her yet. I haven't taught her how to tempt a baby with a few drops of honey in their milk. I haven't taught her how best to transport a toddler-Just let them hang on your leg while you walk. Seriously, they enjoy that. There's too many things that we haven't shared. It can't end like this. I'm not prepared for it to end like this.**

**But in that same thought, I can't say that I'd rather forfeit my granddaughter's life in her place. I wouldn't and I don't think I could face Zoey, having chosen to sacrifice that baby. She's as much a part of me as her mother. Mother is to daughter as daughter is to mother. Zoey is to me as the little one is to her.**

**This has gone too far. And there's nothing left for me to do, but hold my husband together as he deals with the fallout of his decision. I can't hate him, because he made the choice that I wasn't strong enough to make.**

**I curb the urge to check his pulse or take his temperature. He doesn't need that from me. He needs an anchor, not a doctor; though if this doesn't go our way, he could end up needing both.**

**I sigh and ease myself under Jed's arm to get closer. He nuzzles my hair with his nose and squeezes my shoulder.**

**"I love you, no matter what happens. I trust in you and your love for us. That won't ever go away." He seems relieved to hear that. I hope he never had to doubt it.**

**"Promise?"**

**"Do I need to?"**

**"Please?" The despair in his voice pushes me to voice what I never thought I'd have to.**

**"My love for you, our love for you, will never die."**

**"Even if they do?" I hide my face in his shirt, but nod my ascent.**

**"Even if they do."**

**"They can't die." I peek up over his collar.**

**"Why not?" I can't even believe I'm asking.**

**"Because they're Barrington's. They've got the Daughters of the American Revolution on their side. Not to mention some pirates." I chuckle into his shoulder.**

**"Privateers." He snorts wryly.**

**"Glorified pirates."**

**"I'll let you have that one, jackass." I let a moment pass as I look over my shoulder at Charlie, who's looking sadly out the window. There's nothing I can say to him. So, I keep my false hopes to myself. There's only one man I can help now. "Changed my mind. Privateers."**

**"If you say so, Pirate Jenny." I only wiggle my eyebrows with a smile. "Don't come on to me. You can't keep up." As I ready to get into a debate over just whom has more stamina than whomelse, the ER doors open and I completely forget.**

**And for the first time, I realize just how long I've been gone from medicine. Because I'm looking into his eyes and I haven't got the slightest idea what he's about to say. I only have one prayer left…**

**Please, don't take my children away.**

**I've just started to love them and this can't be the end.**


	11. The End of the Experiment

Author: Regency  
Title: The Experiment  
Category: Drama/ Romance/Humor  
Pairing: Jed/ Abbey, Charlie/ Zoey…  
Summary: It's the end of the road for Zoey. Now all that's left is the hard part.

Disclaimer: I now own the professors, Nariel, and Noah, and Melanie

**The End of the Experiment**

**From: FightingForEverythingWhiteHouse.gov**

**Subject: The weeks of April 24 & May 3, **

**The doctor came out at that moment. He said…**

**

* * *

**

Charlie

**"She's okay. She's not great, but she's holding on tight with both hands. Your girl wants to live." We clap and whoop and wipe tears that we didn't know were falling. The President has me wrapped in a tight hug when I realize he hasn't mentioned the baby. Abbey and I are having the same thought.**

**"Dr., the baby? Is she all right?" He finally takes of his paper cap and clasps his hands in front of him.**

**"Ma'am, I was talking about the baby."**

**"I thought you meant Zoey."**

**"No ma'am. Zoey's not faring quite as well. You see, when we took her to the OR for the C-section, the medication began to kick in. Also, the baby's vitals stabilized, as did Zoey's. Her state is precarious right now, but we're certain that trying to force her into labor will do more damage than good. And, as you all know, the longer the baby is in her mother, the greater chance she has to fully develop her internal organs, specifically her lungs. That's where our major concerns lie."**

**"So, how long are you going to try to maintain the pregnancy?"**

**"As long as we can, ma'am. Until it is a mortal threat to Zoey. We won't sacrifice her, but we want to give the baby the best chance we can."**

**"Okay. Thank you, Dr." They shake hands.**

**"I'm just doing my job, ma'am."**

**"No, you're saving my children's lives." He nods humbly and disappears back behind the swinging doors. A nurse steps out.**

**"You can see your daughter for a while if you'd like." It's rare that they'd allow us all back there at once, but it's a slow day, I suppose. I've had better slow days.**

**

* * *

I think you should know how her father felt when he saw her next. Somehow, I think it's more important.**

_**

* * *

**_

_Jed_

**I'm holding Abbey's hand when we enter Zoey's room. I have to lean on the door when I see her. My little girl's hooked up to every machine imaginable. Her hair is fanned out around her like a dark halo. The pale dankness of the room robs her of her color. The only sound is the deafening rush of the ventilator that's just barely keeping her alive and the heart monitor that registers the beating of a beautiful heart. It's hard to imagine this little grown up, coming from Abbey and me. It feels like just yesterday, she was five with her little beret and jumper dress headed to school with her pink Baby Bop backpack and matching lunchbox.**

**When did she turn twenty-three and becomes someone's mother? Now, she's fighting for the life of her child. My baby's got a baby that she might not even live long enough to see live. I don't know what I'll do if I lose my Zoey. She's had so much joy about this child and yet, so much pain. She's taken a lot onto her shoulders and this is where it's gotten her. I'm so proud of her, but I'm angry that one more semester made a difference. I would've have been just as proud and in love with her as I am now, as I've been since the day she was born. Just like Ellie, all she's ever had to do for me to love her is to come home. It doesn't and never will go away. That's the way it is.**

**I take a place at her side and stroke her alabaster cheek. She looks more like Abbey in her sleep than she acts like me when she's awake. Her eyelids flutter and she moves slightly in pain. Her heartbeat increases and I hold my breath until she's still again. This is waiting. Waiting isn't seeing whether a submarine has gone quiet or is in distress. Waiting isn't waiting to see if Congress is going to call for your resignation because of a lie you didn't mean to tell. Waiting is seeing the future of your family hanging by a thread.**

**This is waiting.**

**

* * *

**

Charlie

**As her father speaks to her, I sit at the end of the bed. I see him sing to her, scold her, and pray to her. All he wants is his family intact. Abbey sits on Zoey's other side, holding her unencumbered hand. She wraps a rosary around her fingers and whispers a prayer. Zoey's eyes flutter open and she looks at me. I try my best to smile, but my best may be less than enough.**

**She smiles past the respirator, then looks to her parents groggily. They smile at her hopefully. She squeezes her mother's hand. They whisper their love to her and she blinks in understanding. She starts to drift off soon despite our hopes and we let her go, because we're all sure that she's coming back.**

**I hesitantly reach out to touch her stomach and am rewarded with a swift kick to the hand. I pull back fast and then reach out to touch again. I lay my palm over the very peak of her belly. This time, I know it's a punch. I laugh, because that's my daughter in there. My daughter with God's greatest work of art. I lean down and tenderly kiss the little mound of person.**

**"Fight for this, Zoey," I tell her. "Fight for this little girl. Fight for the dream that can still come true. Fight for us." I hope I'm not too late to be heard._

* * *

_**

_Abbey_

**I watch Charlie whisper to Zoey and to the baby with equal amounts of love and spite. I'm angry at this whole situation. Admittedly, partly directed at my husband, but most of it's pointed towards him. I don't want to still be mad, but this is my daughter. He was supposed to love her unconditionally, no holds barred. When did love become an 'only if…' situation? Only if you don't get pregnant will I continue to love you. Only if you don't get pregnant will I stay with you. Bullshit and that's all I have to say.**

**I can't say anymore, because he just begged my daughter to keep going and to keep fighting for her family, especially their baby. I can't be angry with my son. I love him too much and I'm praying that he doesn't screw up this chance he's been given since I think I can safely say that he won't get another one.**

**And even if he does, I may kill him first. Son of mine or no.**

**

* * *

**From: 3rd1stDaughterWhiteHouse.gov 

Subject: The weeks of April 20 – May 4,

**I can feel them touching me. I can hear Charlie pleading with me. I won't give up because my baby needs me. I love him, but I haven't decided whether or not I can forgive him yet. So, for now I'm living for my baby, parents, and my sisters. Just for a little longer. Okay, three months is more than a little, but I'm taking it a breath at a time. And my baby needs every one of them.**

**I can do this. I know I can, because too many people would be let down if I did any less. Death isn't an option. Not for either of us. I try to sigh dramatically, but the tube in my throat makes it a no-go. I don't know what it feels like to have a machine breathe for me. If feels like breathing, but I'm not doing it. There's this little plastic clip on my finger. And this beeping all around me and the muttering of my family.**

**It's this beautiful noise, this white noise that I love. Punctuated by the restless movement just under the covers. I can feel it and see it all at once. I wanna talk to her, to tell her to calm down. Have you ever felt your child worrying inside you? She's worrying. She's been reaching for me and I haven't been reaching back. I close my eyes and think of her. I think to her.**

**Suddenly, the movement stops and she calms inside me. In my mind's eye, I can see her sucking her thumb in her repose. Her foot kicks out to let everyone outside know that she's all right. She's so tiny. I can hardly imagine the feel of her warm weight in my arms. Three months seems like such a long time to wait for this kind of joy, but just long enough to wait to be this blessed.**

**To my surprise, Daddy clears his throats and strokes my hair. This feels so familiar, so…right.**

_**Oh, my angel, I swear to thee, Dear.  
You are safe and protected here.  
This manger offers a softer place for your descent  
for you to land from Heaven went.  
Mother guards you on your left.  
Father guards you on your right.  
The Lord, himself guards you from above.  
Doubt, never, this.  
You are surrounded by love.**_

**I would be smiling right now if I could. This feels wonderful. I haven't heard that song in so long. I can remember singing that to Noah when all this crap first started. Now, my father's back to singing it to me. Full circle. I may be the momma now, but I'll always be my Daddy's little girl.**_  
_

**Sleep is so beautiful when you have a dream to wake up to.**

**I fall back asleep at the end of the song. Just like old times. I dream of my daughter swinging on the porch swing in Manchester, her hair blowing in her face as she laughs with glee. She's perfect in every way with a pair leaf green eyes to offset her dusty complexion. What a perfect child.**

**I watch from a distance and hesitate to move closer. If I see anymore, I won't want to leave. I already know that I have no choice. I wish I could touch, hold her. She's gotten so big since I held her last.**

**My mother lifts her into her lap and enfolds her in a loving embrace. I know that love. I've been there before. She thrives under the attention and starts to animatedly recount her day at preschool. She learned to write her name today. Abigail. What name could be more fitting of such a girl? I blow her a kiss and hop over the fence behind me. I have to stop myself from looking back to them and keep going. After a while, I'm sure I hear her calling for me. It hurts so much to keep walking away. I can't stay anymore; I've already been here too long. I just had to wait a moment and see the girl I made. She's so stunning. I'm proud of what Charlie and I did.**

**I just wish I could hold her in my arms once more. I haven't held her since the day she was born. I know I have to let go, but I'm not ready yet. Even though, I leave now, I know I'll be back. I always come back.**

**I wish I could live this life with her. I'd give anything for one more moment. Anything at all. But an angel called to me and said that my time on earth was done, and what more could I do, but obey? My fate was sealed and so I left my precious newborn daughter in the loving embraces of my parents and her father. What greater trust is there? None. There is none.**

**Death is so lonely and I'm not convinced that Heaven exists.**

**

* * *

**

Abbey

**Tears leak from Zoey's clinched eyes. I lean down and brush my lips across her forehead. She stirs but a little and turns away from me.**

**I wonder what kinds of dreams she has. Does she have the same nightmares I did? The worst-case scenario, the dream -- that magnificent dream? Does she have that? Is she seeing her child living on without her? I pray not, but I know better. That is the fear of every mother, to not be there for their children during their lives. A righteous fear, I think, for any parent.**

**I feel as though I should be doing more, gathering her into my arms and singing to her, though that's never been my department. Her father's always done that. He's always been her hero. Mine, too.**

**My hero's falling apart as he, along with us, is forced to watch helplessly as our daughter battles God and nature for the baby's she's fought for and her very life. He made an impossible choice and I didn't help him. Everyone calls me the strong one. I think they've sorely underestimated my guy. He's what keeps us all going. In an affectionate moment, I reach out and touch his hand, showing him that none of this rests on his shoulders, to warn him to lighten his burden onto me. I fear him taking this all onto himself, taking all the responsibility. I don't think he could survive. This entire thing is tragedy enough for me.**

**My family is so precious to me. I'd take their places in a heartbeat. Keep beating, Zoey's heart, don't stop.

* * *

**

_Zoey_

**This has been the most ironic of rides. I don't think I'll have another experience like this in my life nor would I want to. I believe I could live out the rest of my time satisfied with this one extreme in oddity. Now, I want to raise my daughter. That's all I want.**

**Maybe later, I'll think about going back to school. I like French. I guess I could be an interpreter. Or I could teach. I don't know. It's not as though I don't have the time to think it over. I can't talk and I doubt I'll be getting this thing out of me any time soon. So, I shall think.**

**But what about? Nothing. I have nothing to think about. Maybe about the baby's name. Okay, what would be a good name for my sweetheart? Abbey, Jane, Carrie, Sarah…Anna. I like Anna. Anna Bartlet-Young. That is pretty close to Annie. I don't know. Anyway, it goes on the list. Melanie. That's nice. Sweet Melanie.**

**Melanie Anna Bartlet. I think we have a name. I let myself rest again knowing that one more thing in my life has been decided. By me for a change.**

**If it is ever my choice, I'll never leave my daughter behind.**

**

* * *

**

Charlie

**Zoey's been wavering between asleep and awake for a few hours now. The President left a while ago to deal with some situation in the Middle East. He left grudgingly; he wanted to stay here with his family. We want him here too.**

**The doctor came and did a quick ultrasound while she slept. I saw my daughter for the first time and I fell in love again. I was already crazy about her, but now I've seen her, gently sucking on her thumb. My little girl is perfect the world be damned. I've heard about the threats against Zoey and the baby. I'm not deaf or stupid; I know people dispute our ever being together and even more our having a baby together. On the Internet, she's been called terrible things. You would have to be a father to know the kind of rage those words ignited in me. They spoke as though they had to save Zoey from that child and me. I can only imagine how horrified she would be if she knew.**

**I can't stand that in this world people are allowed to target unborn children because of their parentage. I don't care what color Zo's skin is, or mine. All I know is that she is my heart and I would die for her on any occasion with the slightest provocation. I would give anything.**

**Why can't love alone survive in this world? I don't know the answer to that, but I know it can't.

* * *

**

_Zoey_

**A few days pass before the doctor even thinks about letting me out of here. The hemorrhaging has stopped ---Thank God for small favors--and I can breathe on my own. It's a relief not to be so close to catastrophe now.**

**I don't think Charlie has left my side the whole week and a half I've been here. Mom only left to insure that Daddy didn't kill people in his hurry to get back to me. Believe me, she didn't want to go either, but when all else fails, he needs his touchstone. I understand.**

**Of course, when it's time for me to leave the hospital, the whole damn world shows up. Mom and dad are gathering up my stuff, which includes a baby bag I had Gina bring because we thought I might go into labor. In a way, I'm glad it was a false alarm, but I'm also disappointed. I wanted to hold my baby now. I guess I'll have to wait three more months. Which means that, damn, I'm gonna have to write my valedictorian speech. So close.**

**My graduation is a month away and I am not any closer to finishing my paper. A matter of fact, I'm almost behind. If it weren't for Charlie and my parents, I'd have lost an entire week of my journal. I wish I knew what they'd written. Maybe it's better that I don't. It was hard enough watching them worry from here, it would be a dozen times worse knowing what they were thinking when they thought no one would find out. Those are their thoughts and I'll let them have them. At least until I have to write this damned paper. I could so stand to be in school another year.**

**It feels odd to have the whole building stop to watch me leave. Charlie pushes my wheelchair and Dad is holding the baby bag. I can imagine that would be appealing to some. Mom is holding my purse and supervising to make sure the guys don't trip over themselves in their efforts to cater to me. If my father asks if my leaving is really a good idea one more time, I take no responsibility for what I do next. I'm sorry; I don't want to be here anymore.**

**As soon as we step foot outside the automatic doors, I'm blinded by flashing camera bulbs. The damned paparazzi. Is nothing sacred? I instantly regret such an obvious question. Of course, nothing is sacred. Let's be serious here, it's the press. The American Press at that. They have no shame…but neither do I.**

**I am not ashamed of being pregnant or having complications. Or not being married. Yes, I'd rather be married, but it's okay that I'm not. I'll live with it. Rather that than die with it. I've had it with what the People are saying about me. I want to be home with my son. That's all that I need. He's what matters. I'm more than over this.**

**Charlie helps me into the car and my parents climb in behind us. We don't bother with conversation with all that's going on. I think my mother is a little unhappy with me right now. I found out that Dad told mom everything. I have a feeling that I'll be getting a firm talking-to one of these days. I told my parents that I wanted to go to Manchester. But the doctor nixed that idea real fast. He said that at six months pregnant, mass traveling would be inadvisable. I want to go home. My parent's response? "Tough." I'm feeling the love. I am.**

**Unsurprisingly, I fall asleep between mom and Charlie on that way back to the House. When the car stops, they gently jostle me back to wakefulness. I stumble out of the car and they nudge me into the wheelchair and propel me indoors. I lace my hands together over my stomach and lean on my father's hand as it rests on my shoulder. I smile at the staffers as I pass by. I can't remember all the names, but I know the faces. They know me, too.**

**I've come full circle in a way. Five-year years ago, I was nineteen and just on my way to college. My dad was newly elected, my mom was in Pakistan, and I'd just met Charlie. It didn't take long for me to fall in love with him. I knew I loved him from that moment in the kitchen when I asked him if the chili needed cumin. He said it needed oregano. A man that could cook, a man after my own heart. It took me weeks to work up the courage to ask him out. Then, he looked so panicked I almost backed out. But after asking for Dad's permission, which pissed me off, he accepted and we went out. It never occurred to me that people would have an issue with us being together. I didn't give a damn that he was black. He was Charlie and he was calm and funny and handsome. I found out soon enough that he had warm arms too. I love his arms. I miss them.**

**He's been apart of my life for so long that I don't believe there's any way to get him out. I don't want him to leave anyway. We're going to have a daughter together. We have to like each other, for Melanie's sake if nothing else. The ride up to the elevator is peppered with small talk between my parent as mom tells us what Noah's been up to since we've been sequestered at the hospital.**

**"He crawled across the blanket on his stomach. It was like he knew me."**

**"Of course, he knows you, you're his nana." She smiles at that. She loves being a grandma.**

**"He's growing into his looks. He's got some honey blonde hair and big blue eyes." She looks sideways at dad. "I'd say he fits right in."**

**"Wherever would you get an idea like that, Abigail?"**

**The silence is a glare in his direction. "You're a smart man--"**

**"And that's a stupid question," we all finish for her. Seriously, time for some new material, ma.**

**"I daresay I'm becoming predictable."**

**"It's in the realm of possibility."**

**"Don't get sent back to the hospital." Oh, yeah, I'm scared. I feel a nice hard pinch on my shoulder**

**"Ouch. That hurt." She smirks behind me. "Okay, you've made your point." The doors open in front of us and they roll me to room. "You know, I can walk."**

**"You know, you could have said that when we got out of the car."**

**"Yeah, but all this way? Nah." But I do get out of the chair once we got closer to my bedroom door. In a matter of seconds I manage to trip myself up on the carpet runner and almost go down headfirst. Nice one, Zoey.**

**A little while later, I'm swathed in bedclothes and listening to my immediate family cluck over me. Yes, it's humbling, but come on. Enough already. After a time, I just tune them out and go to sleep.**

**I'm groggy when I wake up, not a new experience, but no more pleasant than the last time. Except for the warm weight pressed up against my side. I crack my eyes open to see Charlie dozing with Noah securely in his arms. I love the beauty of his smooth dark arms around Noah's pearly body. I wish I had a camera. Just this sight should quell the fire of hate in any soul. Melanie kicks in glad agreement and I reach down to greet her.**

**"Hello, honey." She kicks me a little hello. I smile wider and curl my arms around my belly. She likes when I do that. "You feelin' okay, Mel? I feel pretty good, too." I scoot to the edge of the bed to look out the window. I can see straight out. It's dark outside by far and the stars twinkle in the sky. I sink my toes into the plush sand-colored carpet. It makes me wish I were on the beach. I stand up and waddle over to the window for a better look. I can see all the little cars driving by. I see the lights and the people on the sidewalk. I see the whole world from here. I wish Melanie could see it.**

**"I promise I'll show you this before we go home. You have to see how big the world is, but I don't want you to be afraid. There are a lot of people who'd die to protect you. Don't worry about a thing.**

_**Oh, my angel, I swear to thee, Dear.  
You are safe and protected here.  
This manger offers a softer place for your descent  
for you to land from Heaven went.  
Mother guards you on your left.  
Father guards you on your right.  
The Lord, himself guards you from above.  
Doubt, never, this.  
You are surrounded by love.**_

**"We love you and we'll never let them hurt you." Tranquility comes over me and my smile widens. "Good night, little girl. Good night." I go back to bed and lay down next to Charlie, admittedly tucking myself steadily into his side. I haven't forgiven him, but I have missed him.**

**

* * *

**To: Professor Vixen Noble, Georgetown University 

From: Zoey Bartlet

Subject: Week of May 14, ; It's almost over!

**My dreams alternate between heaven on earth and hell in purgatory. They say pregnant women have nightmares, but these are terrors. I hate this fear. It's every night now. It's jarring how fast the next month passes. My family hovers, Charlie included. The Senior Staff peeks in the give me a belly rub, which drives me nuts, but they mean well. Melanie enjoys the attention, so I let her have it.**

**I finish my papers for the most part by hand and then transfer it to a laptop stationed haphazardly on my stomach. I'll give it this; I'm a portable computer desk. I kept it simple. There wasn't much to say. It didn't affect much except to have people question my family's values, this administration's stand on values, whether or not my father had completely lost him mind, or whether I had. It also made them damned nosy. Politically speaking, I wasn't much for political hay. I was in a committed relationship and I got pregnant while having sex with the man I thought I'd end up marrying. He wasn't ready for a child and we broke up. I wasn't promiscuous and he was just young (no pun intended). There's nothing to say. I haven't been shunned. My child will be christened, out of wedlock or not, my father won't have it any other way. And neither will I. I will bring her up in the ways of our Lord, Jesus Christ. If the public's got a problem with that, they can kiss me.**

**Anyway, the day of my graduation finally comes. Having spent the remainder of April and the beginning of May in bed, I can honestly say I am completely rested. The size of Sri Lanka? Yes. But well rested. I leave the Residence around noon to practice the procession. I find my seat and I talk to my friends who were massively worried about me. I tell them not to worry and that I'm fine. They know instinctively that I'm full of it. I shrug it off and go over my speech. I have to talk about things, actual important things. My dad's gonna go up and give the commencement speech, then I have to go up in the wake of that. Toby wrote Daddy's speech, but I had to write my own. Something about the experience of it. I wanted Toby to write mine. There's no way I can stand up in the face of that. Have I mentioned that I want to kick things? I can't even see my feet, so it wouldn't be advisable.**

**Time must get away from me, because suddenly there a pall over the crowd and I hear people shuffling quickly to get out of the way of my parent's entourage. I'll be damned. I check my watch. Yep, it's two already and it's time to start. I would have a last name that starts with B. Just the luck of the draw I suppose.**

**Dad searches me out in the sea of hats and gowns and finding me, throws me a thumbs-up and fist to his heart. I return the sign to him and he grins. He's proud of me and I love how that feels. Melanie shifts her ascent. After today, I won't have to keep this a secret anymore. Though, I'm not sure how much of a secret it is anyway.**

**I'm thinking my way through Daddy's speech so that I won't intimidate myself into not going up there at all. I'll listen to it later, after I'm done. I'm sure he'll happily give me the highlights. He'll be the only one besides Toby who knows all the words.**

**Then, everyone rises to their feet and gives my Dad a standing ovation. I stand too and take out my little disposable camera. He stops for me to take a quick picture and grins sunnily. Man, can the man beam. He then recesses to his place near the rear of the stage with the other honored guests. He, of course, being the most honored. Then the Dean of Students comes forward and starts to call out the names. My stomach drops – metaphorically speaking – and my palms start to sweat.**

**"Nancy Adler." I see her at the beginning of the first row, scurrying up the steps to accept her diploma. She was a magna. I try not to act up. I'm a summa. Summa cum laude is with the highest honor. Magna is just great. Yes, I'm being a bit snotty, but I earned my grade point average. Believe you me.**

**"Dane Allison." I whoop it up with my friends since I know this guy. He's a summa. Not to say that I don't have friends who are not. I have plenty and I'll whoop it up for them too.**

**"Sarah Altman." Another friend of mine. I think I'm gonna lose my voice before I even get up there.**

**"Blaine Andrews." I just clap this time. Must preserve the voice.**

**"Michael Androski." This could take while. And it does. It must be forty-five minutes before they even get to the B's. Thankfully, I'm third from the top. And my friend did the sitting arrangements so I'm on the aisle. Oh, yes.**

**"Nicole Banks." Hate her. All of us make faces at her back. We're gonna be in the gossip section of a magazine.**

**"Nicholas Banks." Her twin brother. Hate her; love him. How could they turn out so different?**

**"Zoey Bartlet." I rise and try to hide my blush as the entire assembly goes ape. Guess a lot of them were here to see me. Dad even stands up from his seat to join in. He's totally bias. I don't mind though. One of the honored guests comes down to help me up the steps to the platform. I shake the Dean's hand and smile for what has to be a million pictures before descending the other side after throwing a smile at Daddy. I know mom's out there so I make sure to smile. I think I spot Charlie and I blow him a kiss because wherever there is Charlie, there is Noah.**

**I retake my seat and wait as the ceremony passes slowly. It's hot out and these gowns are heavy and we're getting overheated and sleepy. At least, Dad kept it relatively short, but these guys are really making a go of it. I wipe the sweat from my face with my sleeve and puff air at my tassels to keep them from sticking. Damn, it's hot.**

**Dad's sitting on the stage, directly in the path of the sunlight and he looks about ready to leave, get some ice cream, and come back when they're done. I totally want Rocky Road. Melanie rumbles and the want becomes a craving. Great. I tug on my robe and am thankful that I wore the three-quarter-sleeved v-neck underneath instead of the sundress. That thing would be like wax paper right now for all I'm sweating.**

**At last, some guy that I don't care who is steps away and the Dean takes his place at the podium. I sit upright, realizing that my cue is coming.**

**"Now, without further adieu, I present to you, Valedictorian of the class of 2003, Zoey Bartlet." I rise without assistance and follow the same path as before to take the Dean's place. Silence falls and I take a deep breath. I release the dais from the choking grasp I have on it and rest my hands lightly on top. This is my moment; everyone's looking at me. Cameras are flashing high and low, left and right. And now I realize I've lost my cards. My friend waves them at me discretely. That's nice, I left them in my seat. Good going, sweetie.**

**I'm going to have to fly this one blind. With all the camera flashes, blind is about right. I take another breath. The truth will do it every time.**

**"I had a speech prepared. No one else wrote it. Not Toby Ziegler, though I begged him. Not Sam Seaborn, though it would've been nice. I wrote it. And it was pretty bad." I hear some vague chuckling in that mish-mashing ocean of watching eyes. "Then, I remembered my mother once said to CJ Cregg. She said, 'The truth will do it every time.' So, here it is. Here's the truth. Six months ago, I was called to my guidance counselor's office. She said that I was two credits short and in danger of not graduating with my class. It was too late for me to get another class in without neglecting the ones I was already struggling with. Apparently, two of my professors got together and came up with this assignment. I would walk around until the end of the year pretending to be pregnant. I was supposed to keep a journal on what I felt and experienced and observed in that time. I was supposed to record how people reacted. That caused some fresh hell, but it was fun sometimes. That's what I was supposed to do, but that's not all that happened."**

**My skin is heating up, but I feel so cold. "I started getting sick almost as soon as I started. I thought I was getting too into the role, but it turns out that that wasn't it. I soon found out that I was, in fact, pregnant. I didn't really need the pregnancy suits anymore. But before I found that out…I lost a good friend. Most of you know here and I don't have to say her name. She was lost and misguided, but good. She left me a beautiful remembrance. She entrusted me with the care of her most cherished asset: her son." My voice catches and I brace myself. Somewhere out there, he's watching. He doesn't even know the difference between her and me. "That was hard enough to deal with. Then, to find out I was pregnant and I couldn't tell anyone. In hindsight, it was stupid. But graduating with you guys meant a lot to me. I couldn't tell my mom and _she_ was gone. My father was the only one I told and that was after I told my boyfriend. That didn't go over well. With my boyfriend, I mean. My father was more upset with him for hurting me than with me for finding myself in the family way. Yes, my boyfriend dumped me. It hurt, but when I started suffering from complications, I figured out pretty quickly that there were bigger things to worry about. From day one, I've been at risk for Placenta Previa, which is a disorder of the uterus that prevents the blood from clotting when a woman gives birth. I could bleed to death. My daughter could, too. That scared the hell out of me and I got fast off my high horse and realized how blessed I was. That's what I want to say. We've all got our share of issues and fears and wishes. But we're here. Today, we're graduating; going onto other, maybe better things. There'll be some bad along with the good, but we're here right now. We are unbelievably blessed. People would kill to be where we are. Listen to me, because I'm saying this and I could very well die tomorrow or two months from now, whenever she decides to make her entrance into the world. I could die, but I'm happy. And that's the truth. Choose your moment to be joyful because that's what you'll remember when you're not." I look around and smile a mega-watt smile for the cameras. It wasn't Shakespeare, but it got my point across. "Thank you." My friends jump up and give me a standing ovation. Thank God I'm a friendly person. So many friends. I get hugged a lot before I can back to my seat. It's a relief to finally sit down because my back and ankles are starting to hurt.**

**The Dean goes back to the podium and looks over all of us. "It has been a pleasure for me preside over all of you this last four years. It's been an interesting ride. I know all the things that you don't want your parents to know about." A low, nervous chuckle spreads over the crowd. Oh, man, is he right. "I also know that you all have bright futures ahead of you. Some of your futures reside here and some in other places. Whatever comes for you, I know that you will face it with the knowledge and the wisdom of all you've learned here. We all wish you well. And with that, you may switch your tassels to the right sides of your caps." We do. "Congratulations, graduates of 2003!" We immediately begin to scream with glee, tossing our caps in the air and losing them indefinitely. We jumble around one another, hugging and kissing and crying. We're a big sweaty mess. I love it.**

**We make hopeless promises to keep in touch. I'll try. I swear I will. We jostle around for another hour, exchanging number and addresses, and taking pictures. My family finds me in the malaise and we take pictures with a bunch of my friends. Before we leave, we take a picture together; Mom, Daddy, Charlie, Noah, and me. It's a nice one. I'll treasure it.**

**So, this is it. The area is starting to clear out until it's just a few stragglers and us. This experiment is over. My little nocturnal ballerina does cartwheels inside of me and I am joyful. I choose this moment to feel joy. This has been the hardest and most trying four months of my life. I have survived by faith and love and little else. I've had my miracle and will live to tell about it.**

**But, in hindsight, that all was easy; now comes the hard part.**

**Labor.**


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

To: Professor Vixen Noble, Georgetown University

From: Zoey Bartlet, Third First Daughter

Addendum to Experiment – July 25

**I woke up this morning, feeling better than usual. I stayed in bed though, because I was threatened with bodily harm if I so much as thought of doing otherwise. I had a light breakfast because I had a mild stomachache and wasn't up to eating much. Melanie was particularly active. I snuck out of bed and took a walk around the Residence, running and hiding from my family often. I learned that they'd known I was out all along and were just making me jump through hoops for their amusement. They're sweet people, they are.**

**Around noon, I started feeling sharp pains in my stomach. I thought they were just Braxton-Hicks. I'd been having them since before graduation so I didn't think much of them. Yes, I knew it was my due date, but I'll tell you I never thought it was labor.**

**That is until I was in the middle of the kitchen and I had the biggest accident of all my twenty-three years. I didn't think the female body could retain that much fluid. I must've squeaked or something because the entire present family stepped toward me and right into the puddle. To say I was embarrassed is being grammatically economic. Charlie almost slipped on the wooden floor but caught himself against dad, who caught himself against the fridge.**

**Mom braved the way to me and held me up when a contraction hit. That was no Braxton-Hicks. It hurt so much I thought I'd pass out. The Secret Service was right there to lend their assistance and carried me to the couch until they could get an ambulance to me. That whole breathing thing my Lamaze coach taught me only made me want to hit people. I didn't need people in my face going hoo-hoo hee-hee. This crap was not funny. They told me not to cry, that it hindered my pushing. I basically told them where they could take that piece of advice and what they could do with it once they got there. I was gonna cry if I damn well wanted to cry. And I wanted to cry.**

**The damned ambulance got stuck in traffic and it turns out that I was too far into labor for them to move me. I was shouting curse words I'd never dreamed of shouting in front of my parents before. They were forgiving about. They ignored my poorly veiled threats in favor of encouraging words that helps inch me along. I was so exhausted and I wanted to get to a hospital so that I could get an epidural. However, mom was nice enough to inform me that I was too far along for that anyway. That didn't lift my spirits any.**

**Anyway, after a long hour of pushing, she crowned.**

**"Zoey, she's coming. Are you ready to see your baby?" I nodded. They'd just let me touch her head and I was ready to hold her. "One more big push now." So, I gave it all I had, which by then wasn't much. But I felt her slide from by body and into the world. I didn't breathe until I heard her first shrill, guttural cry.**

**"Charlie, you want to cut the cord?" His eyes were so large. I'd forgotten he was even with me and he'd been holding my hand the entire time. He nodded and went to where she was. He alarmed expression faded into one of rapture. He watched them take her off the side to clear out her airway and wrap her up.**

**Mom came back with Admiral Hackett in tow and was about to lay her into my arms when I felt another bout of contractions begin. I squeezed my eyes shut and let my baby go. They handed her off to Daddy and went back to see what was up. I finally saw my mother's expression and it threw me.**

**"Zoey, you didn't tell us you were having twins." I must've been a sight when she said that.**

**"Twins." There was _not _supposed to be twins.**

**"Yes. This is another head. Charlie, hold Zoey's hand. It's just one more, baby. Push." I pushed with what little strength I had left. It was hardly enough. "Charlie, help her. Get behind her if you have to. Push, Zoey." Didn't she understand that I was trying to?**

**With his help, I bore down and screamed, waking up the sleeping newborn in Dad's arms. He stepped back as if he'd been hit. His agony at seeing me so hurt was obvious. This time, it was harder and I nearly did faint, but I stayed awake long enough to hear another deep cry. My God, another one. I had twins.**

**I was out like a light in Charlie's arms and that seemed to scare the hell out of him. At least, that's what Mom told me later. Dad fared a little better, only because he had the baby in his arms. It turned out the reason that Charlie looked so surprised was that the first baby to be born wasn't a girl, but a boy. Melanie was born second, but she came out strong, obviously not liking the fact that her brother had stolen her thunder. Somehow the sonograms had missed him in favor of her throughout the pregnancy and then, there he was, healthy and hollering.**

**I had nothing for a boy, but that was remedied quickly enough when my sisters disappeared for few hours and came back with huge credit card bills and enormous grins. They're both happiest when they're shopping.**

**I told Charlie the name I'd chosen for our daughter and he was amenable to it, mostly for lack of a better suggestion. Our son, on the other hand, was a loose end. We had no idea what to call him. So, for an hour we sat together on the bed with the two them in our arms. Both were stunning and shared many family features. They shared a smooth even coloring that's best described as brown autumn leaves after rain. They have Charlie's nose and my lips. Melanie had my chin, but he had Charlie's. What was most striking about them were their eyes. She had most notably inherited her grandmother's green eyes and they shined intelligently while she was awake. He had been granted his mother's, mine. He also had dad's forehead. I grinned when I saw that. Some traits transcend the generations.**

"**We've got Noah and Melanie. What else do we need?" I traced the bridge of his small nose. "What else?"**

"**Noah, Melanie, and…" He went over the names in his head. None of them really fit. "Nothing really fits."**

**"How about Oliver?" A stroke of genius from me.**

**"Oliver and Melanie." He touched both of them. "Oliver and Melanie. You are Oliver and you are Melanie." They cooed and kicked up a storm. It's unanimous. We like the names.**

**My parents peered in and the family spilt in behind them. Hugging and loving ensued. I was sure there was a rule against all these people in one room, but we let it go. The baby's were passed around and I had to reign in my nerves. I knew there were enough mothers in the room that they were safe. Eventually, they made it to my parents' arms where they stayed for the remainder of the visit. They acquired a fan club tonight. Even Noah seemed rather attached if not a little jealous. He's still a baby himself. He was Ellie's baby tonight.**

**"What are their names?"**

**"Oliver and Melanie." They cooed again and smiled at their grandparents.**

**"Good, strong names." He secured his embrace of his new grandson. "Hello, Oliver. I'm your grandpa. You and I are gonna have lots of fun together."**

**Mom leaned over his shoulder and noticed what I noticed. "He has your eyes." His brows furrowed as he realized that.**

**"Hey! He does. Well, isn't that something?" He leaned down and kissed my son's forehead. "Welcome to the family, precious boy. We didn't expect you, but we're glad you came." He takes the little hand in his and Oliver instinctively grasps at his fingers. "Oh, yes, we're gonna get very close."**

**"Dad, you're not gonna steal these grandkids away too, are you?" He grinned and we knew that they were as good as gone.**

**Mom was no better. "Finally, someone has my eyes." Of all the features she'd passed, those had remained with her. "I thought I'd be the last of green-eyed gals."**

**"That means she'll be just like you."**

**"Why?"**

**"Because the eyes are the windows to the soul and that means that the eyes are looking onto the same soul. She's gonna be just like you."**

**"It's about time I got a kindred spirit."**

**The grinning went on for another hour before everyone had to leave. Then, it was time for the feeding and it was just Charlie, the babies, and me. I had made it a point to give Noah a kiss good night. It would be a while before we'd be together again and nothing would be the same. I didn't want him to think that he was being forgotten.**

**It was a mesmerizing scene as I nursed them. Charlie was fixated and I was in awe of myself. Not only had I just given my children life, but I was sustaining those lives. They were so peaceful. I knew they'd gotten that from their father. There was no tumult; threats were for outside, but we were inside and it was safe inside. It wasn't long before the Hoovers fell to sleep again. The nurses came to take them to the nursery, leaving us both slightly nervous despite the four Secret Service Agents that would escort them and guard them once they reached their destination. That's just one more reminder that we aren't just anybody.**

**Then, we were alone. We supposed that it was time to have a big conversation. I didn't think it was, but that's fate for you.**

**"So, what are we going to do?" he asked me. I shrugged.**

**"What do you want to do?"**

**"We should think about getting married."**

**"No."**

**Seeing his face, I wanted a camera so badly. He'd fully expected me to say yes.**

**"No? Why not?"**

**"I don't want to get married right now. I have three kids, Charlie. I don't need a husband."**

**"But I could be --"**

**"You are quite enough already. You have two kids. Two, not just one; a daughter and a son. You don't need a wife."**

**"I do want one, though."**

**I sighed, exhaustedly. I was so ready to be asleep again. "That's too bad. I don't want a husband." Seeing his crestfallen expression, I amended, "Not now. Not this year. Maybe when you've proven that you can handle all of it, but not a moment before."**

**"Zoey --" I was quick to cut him off.**

**"Charlie!" I had to center myself. "I love you, but I don't trust you. I miss you, but I don't want you there all the time. I love you, but I love them and if you let them down, I will choose them. I'm doing this for all concerned. For me, so that I don't lose all faith in you. For them, so that they grow up with a father. And for you, so that you have the chance to really evaluate what you want in life. I'm giving you the chance to leave before you form any bonds; so that you can't break anymore hearts."**

**He took my hand. "I've already bonded with you."**

**"See how well you tended that."**

**He sighed and dropped his eyes from mine. "I'm sorry that I hurt you and I'd give anything to go back and fix that, but I can't. There's no more I can say."**

**I reached up and stroked his face. He had a five o'clock shadow. "Do me the favor of not suggesting marriage to me again for a while and there won't be anything else to say. Be a father. And one other thing." He looked at me hopefully. "Noah comes with us. Love him no less than the others. I won't."**

**"No question." Accepting that, I took his hand.**

**"Then, someday. I will be your wife."**

**"I can live with that." He didn't really have a choice. "Can I hold you, at least until then?"**

**I considered his proposal, never really thinking of saying no. "Okay." I let him crawl in bed next to me and wrap me in his arms. The last six months caught up with me. I could hear him breathing beside my ear.**

**"I love you. I'll never leave you again, or doubt you. You, Noah, Melanie, and Oliver, are my life now. I will do anything to prove it to you."**

**I've realized that I smile in my sleep. I was smiling then. "You already have."**

**"So --"**

**"Yeah, I'm still not marrying you."**

**"Okay."**

**"Okay." I yawned wide and stretched languidly, though sorely. I could've slept for days. Before I could've, but being woken up every three hours for feeding was to become my life for the next few months.**

**I woke up a few minutes ago and thought you'd want to know. Oliver Charles and Melanie Anna Bartlet-Young are each a healthy 8 pounds, 6 ounces. Charlie has turned out to be an exceptional father. However, this is just the second day. He still has eighteen years to mess it up. Though, I'm confident that he won't.**

**Seeing him with the babies keeps making me cry and that's getting on my nerves, but I'm not unhappy. I'm just emotional. That's normal. I'm okay being that way. It just makes everything that's happened deeper. What a year this has been.**

**I am preparing to embark on the most arduous journey of my life. I won't be alone, but no one can do it for me. I'm doing this alone. Yes, I have a wonderful family and Charlie, but at the end of the day it's on my head. I am the primary caregiver. How they turn out is on me. My job starts now. I do consider it as much a gift as a job though.**

**I take this task gladly and with both hands. If God will only give me the strength to do this, I will give these next years of my life to love these children He has given me. I've wondered whether I am this strong. I will be. As I've said, I'll be as strong as I have to be.**

**Strong, faithful, loving, and kind. I can be all of these things.**

**But I won't be them alone. I smile my permanent grin as Charlie brings the twins in. He lays them in my arms and I have just about all I need. I've made this life of my own.**

**I've made this life and now I will live it. Thoroughly and hopefully without regret.**

**I am Daddy's little girl forever, but somebody's momma forever more.**


End file.
